


Unbecoming

by miss_grey



Series: What We Do In The Dark [56]
Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Also some hope, Bad headspace, Blood Drinking, Blood Kink, Hypnotism, M/M, Magic, Mind Control, Restraints, Self-Harm, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Trauma, Unresolved Sexual Tension, because i'm not heartless, because it just happens alright, consent issues involving blood, hunter dick winters, vampire nix, witch gene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:46:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23289475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_grey/pseuds/miss_grey
Summary: The Vampire Lewis Nixon had a choice: did he want to live for eternity or did he want to drink the blood and take his chance as a man?  The witch wasn't going to wait for his answer forever.Takes place directly after Gene offers Nix his blood.
Relationships: Babe Heffron/Eugene Roe, Lewis Nixon & Babe Heffron, Lewis Nixon & Eugene Roe, Lewis Nixon/Richard Winters, Richard Winters & Eugene Roe
Series: What We Do In The Dark [56]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1366063
Comments: 74
Kudos: 127





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> You all didn't think I'd forget vampire Nix, did you?

_Before_

Nix bowed his head over a book, taking comfort in the familiarity of recent days. He wasn’t even researching anymore. Just doing translations again for Harry. It’d felt like the world stopped, before, but it hadn’t. It’d just started spinning differently. 

Nix would never understand, really, how things had fallen out the way that they had. He’d been alone, then he wasn’t anymore. He’d had someone else, just like him, and now he didn’t. He was happy for the kid, he really was. But he was also… _sad._ Babe wanted to leave, and Gene said that they would.

Nix wasn’t alone, though. He still had Dick. Dick, who’d stuck around. Dick, who said he loved him. Nix wanted to give him the world, but he wasn’t sure what that meant anymore.

The library door cracked open and Nix raised his head enough to see Gene squeeze through before shutting it and locking it behind him. Nix sat up the rest of the way, wary now. “What is it?” He asked.

The witch sauntered closer, his movements all casual grace and power. He would’ve made a terrifying vampire. His brows were pulled together, a line of worry marring his forehead. His mouth was tense, and Nix had seen that face so many times before at this point. He’d seen Gene look that way while they poured over books, researching demons, while he struggled to turn himself into a demon trap to get his true love back. It worried him now.

“What is it?” Nix asked, again. He sat back in his chair. Gene wandered closer, too close for comfort. Nix shifted in his seat. “Gene?”

“You and I,” Gene said, in his deep, drawling voice, “we ain’t always seen eye to eye. I didn’t trust you, for a long time. I hated you for a while.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t understand Dick. Why he’d do what he did and _be_ with you.” Nix gulped, because he still asked himself the same question. “But… you opened your home to me when I needed a refuge. You did what you could, for Edward and me. You watched over him and helped him through this.” Gene huffed, his shoulders slumping. “I never thanked you.” Nix’s throat was dry, now, because Gene had never said so many words to him at once. A flutter of hope and fear twisted in his belly. “I don’t know if it’s permanent. Hell, I don’t even know if it’ll work on you.” Gene slowly, carefully, pulled a vial of his blood from his pocket and he held it out, temptingly, terrifyingly, to Nix. Nix felt his world crashing down— _Oh god, oh god, oh god—_ and he held his breath. “But it's yours, if you want it.”

* * *

_Now_

Nix stared down at the vial in his hand. 

The library was empty and he was alone again. The vial caught the light from the chandelier above, sparkling prettily. And inside, a rich, dark pomegranate, thick, beautiful. It was the most tempting vial of poison he’d ever beheld.

The witch had gone…twenty minutes ago? An hour? Two? Nix couldn’t tell. Time had stopped for him when Gene had extended the offer. Now it was just Nix, alone with a vial of the thing he’d had nightmares and fantasies about. Ever since Dick had dragged the wounded, bloody witch to his front door, Nix had fought against every single instinct he had, every mouth-watering impulse that told him he could have it if he wanted, it was there for the taking. Nix had been stronger than him at that meeting, and maybe he still was. 

Gene had a habit of spilling blood in his presence. Nix thought the witch should probably know better, thought that he probably knew what it meant to a vampire. It was a tease. A temptation. 

The witch, Eugene Roe, was the most terrifying individual that Nix had ever met, and he’d met plenty in his 125 years. None of them had ever threatened Nix in this way before, though. 

Before the witch, Nix had finally gotten a hold on his more…monstrous nature. He’d done it in slow, staggering steps. He’d had to drag himself through the struggle of his entire existence, the weight of countless years. He’d stopped killing long ago. And after, he’d taken only from the willing, and only a little at a time. Then there was Dick. He’d brought himself to heel for that man. He’d beat back the worst of his nature so that he could bear to be close to the man he’d fallen in love with. Every day was a trial, every day was a test. Nix lived in constant fear that he’d fail, but so far he hadn’t. He _hadn’t._ He could love Dick and smell him and taste him and touch him without hurting him. Without… _taking._ He’d promised Dick and himself that he never would. And he wouldn’t. _He wouldn’t._ He’d rather kill himself first.

But Gene.

Gene was different.

Something about his blood sent shivers up Nix’s spine. The smell invaded his body, lay claim to his lungs, and teased at his will. It was the most intoxicating scent that Nix had ever encountered. It was too much. It wasn’t natural, wasn’t meant to exist. It made Nix think that he might do things that he’d never allow himself to do. Simply put, it terrified him. 

Now he stared down at it, cradled in the palm of his hand, his for the taking. It was damnation, it was oblivion, it was the embrace of his true nature, it was the weight of a century, bearing down upon his shoulders, voices whispering and laughing in his ears. It was, potentially, his salvation. 

How in the world was he supposed to weigh that?

Nix had made his peace, a long time ago, with the fact that he was a monster. He’d been a vampire much longer than he’d ever been a human. His very nature had depended on him taking from others, on bringing harm. He’d squared his past with himself, or at least that’s what he liked to tell himself. And he’d been…content, in a way, to simply eat, drink, and fuck, to let the years pass him by until he met his inevitable demise, likely at the hands of a hunter or through his own stupid neglect. He’d been a waste of intellect, money, and space. Really. And he’d accepted it.

And then Dick Winters had stormed into his life and made him…want. After all these years, Dick had made him want. Not just blood, but that was there, too. Dick had made him want to prove himself wrong, made him want to do better and be better and shrug off his decades-old apathy. Dick Winters made him want to be a person again, more than a monster.

Nix was still a bit mystified about how easy it had been, to give up the one in order to embrace the other. Every moment around Dick had been an exquisite torture. Their courtship had been an intricate waltz, choreographed perfectly for maximum angst, longing, and love. 

Nix had never been the committing type, but Dick had made him want to be. And now he was. He’d made Dick and himself all sorts of promises in the months that he’d known the hunter and the most amazing thing was that he intended to keep them all.

In the last few months, Nix had indulged in more introspection than he ever had before. He’d really taken a good long look at what his undead life was and what he could potentially do with it, what he could offer someone. What he could offer Dick.

Nix wanted to give Dick the world. He just wasn’t sure what that meant anymore.

As a vampire, Nix was strong and fast. Powerful. He was rich and ageless. Materially, he could give Dick whatever his heart desired. He could buy him houses and cars. Dick would never have to work another day in his life if he didn’t want to. Nix could take him away from this place and they could travel the world together, albeit in the dark.

If….

Nix turned the vial slightly and the blood rolled inside, pulling him like the moon pulled the tide.

If Nix drank it…then what?

He teetered, terrified, at the top of a cliff. Behind him, safety, security, eternity. Before him…a sharp drop and an unforgiving ocean. Sharp rocks. But also…maybe….

What would Nix be, if he wasn’t a vampire anymore? He’d never been a very good human. Spoiled, rich boy. Terrified soldier. Worthless drunk. He didn’t imagine himself as a particularly good vampire, but it’d been better than what he’d been before. What could he possibly offer Dick as a human? 

Nix frowned and closed his eyes, trying to picture what he looked like. The old picture of himself from the war was the closest he could get—he hadn’t seen himself since. Based on that picture, he’d consider himself attractive and he knew he could be charming. But he was lean and sort of lanky. Without his vampire strength, he’d be average. The witch, roaming somewhere in Nix’s house, could give him a run for his money in the physical looks department, so Nix wasn’t exactly unique. He was rich, still, no matter what, but he knew that Dick didn’t really care about that. So…what did he have to offer, if he wasn’t a monster anymore? Would Dick even find him interesting, or would he decide that there was no room for Nix in his life once he could no longer serve as some sort of protection or give insight into the monstrous underworld that surrounded them?

But…there was still….

Nix held the vial up to eye level and gave it a good look. Its siren song had him rocking forward, mesmerized. If he drank this, it might not work. It might kill him for real. It’d made Babe incredibly sick, delirious, and it’d completely re-written his vampiric biology from the inside out. Nix had been dead for more than a century. There was no guarantee that there was any trace of human biology to go back to. He imagined drinking the blood and then falling into a pile of dust as his vampiric strength was leeched away. He imagined his eyes sinking in and his body decaying and Dick being left with a mess to clean up. That was a real possibility if he went through with this.

If he didn’t, he was safe, he was okay. An eternity stretched out before him, and a handful of decades with Dick at his side, if everything went to plan. But then…what? Dick was a man. He would die. And then what would Nix do? If his more romantic side had its way, he’d probably die too, from a broken heart or something. He, forever 25, and Dick, a wrinkled, white-haired old man who might not even want him by then.

Or….

Nix gulped, his pulse racing, his breath panting. Or….

Despite the darkness that’d enveloped Nix for most of his existence, there was a damned, desperate, determined ray of light that managed still to shine through despite his best efforts. It did now, and it offered an alternative. It allowed him to _hope._ It, that damned voice that sounded too much like his own, asked “ _But what if it works?_ ”

Sunshine. Laughter. Hands clasped with Dick and a field of grass spread before them. Curled up next to a fireplace. Kissing and loving without the fear of hurting. Coffee and soup and… someday, rubbing the soreness out of his aging joints, marveling at the strands of gray in his dark hair, sitting in a rocker next to Dick and smiling at the love of his life.

Tears welled in Nix’s eyes and he cupped the vial securely in his hands, held it close to his undead heart. It was an impossible choice. Impossible.

* * *

Dick found him like that, some time later. He cracked the door open and squeezed through quietly as if not to startle Nix, though he’d been listening to the hunter breathe from the kitchen, deep and steady, for a long while. He approached the library table warily, eyes wide, assessing. “Hey,” he murmured, pulling out the chair across from Nix to settle in. “You okay?”

Nix snorted and raised his eyes from the vial to look at his lover instead. “Yeah. Sure.”

Dick’s eyes flickered to Nix’s hand, the vial cupped preciously within it. “What’s that?”

“This?” Nix asked needlessly, lifting the glass so that it caught the light again. So pretty. “Gene’s blood.”

Dick’s eyes widened and that alone wouldn’t have been enough for Nix to tell whether the surprise was feigned or real, but then Dick’s pulse kicked up and Nix knew the witch hadn’t told him. Well, that at least was a surprise for Nix. He would’ve guessed that Gene had. Dick licked his lips, nervous, not hungry like Nix, and stared at the viscous red liquid for a moment, his eyes wavering, torn, before he fixed them on Nix once more. “Will it work?”

Nix shrugged. “No idea. He wasn’t making any promises.” He turned it, softly, carefully. “But he said it was mine, anyway, if I wanted it.” The little glints of light were like stars, caught, held, utterly entrancing….

“Do you?” Dick asked, disrupting his trance.

“What?” Nix asked, finally raising his eyes to Dick’s.

“Want it?”

And hell, that was the question, wasn’t it? Did he want it? Oh yeah. He wanted to pop that stopper and drink it down, then he wanted to go upstairs and drain the rest of it from its source. He wanted that. But did he _want it?_ He was terrified of the answer. He swallowed, thickly, and suddenly he wanted a drink. A…a _real_ drink. Alcohol, like he’d had after the war. “I….” He swallowed, tried again. “I don’t know.”

Dick nodded and Nix watched his throat bob, listened to the rushing of blood through Dick’s veins, the strong, steady beat of his heart. Dick reached across the table to lay his hand over Nix’s. “Nix,” he murmured, and his voice was cool water, soothing him, refreshing him. “I love you.” His eyes were wide, sincere, and Nix was trapped. “And no matter what you choose…I’ll be here. I promise.” Dick rubbed his calloused thumb over Nix’s softer knuckles. “But whatever choice you make…it has to be about you. No one else.”

Nix turned his hand to link his fingers with Dick’s and he fought past the lump in his throat to murmur “I know.”


	2. 2

“You should listen to him, Dick. You too, Babe.” Nix suggested calmly, his voice belying his nerves. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides and the vial of blood burned in his pocket. “I don’t want either of you anywhere near here.”

They were in the basement again.

He watched as Dick and Babe both stubbornly rearranged the furniture and supplies. Nix couldn’t figure out what they thought that would achieve but he decided to humor them. For another minute. Just one more. 

Gene watched, bemusedly, out of the corner of his eye while he began painting sigils in the corners of the room.

Soon now.

When Nix had finally decided to go through with the treatment, come what may, Gene was the first person he’d gone to see. He’d found the witch outside in the garden that evening, breathing in the fresh air and presumably getting some exercise. Nix had fallen into step beside him, casting him a wary look that Gene acknowledged with a soft, almost-smile. They’d walked in silence for a while before Nix had finally confessed “I’m afraid that once I drink it, I’ll lose control of myself. I’ll…want. More.” He ran a nervous hand through his hair. “No one here is physically strong enough to keep me from taking it, either.”

Gene nodded. “Thought ‘bout that, too.”

“So?”

“Think I can handle it.”

And after seeing what the witch was capable of in the face of a demon, Nix believed him. But he was…nervous, scared, even. Now, as he watched Gene begin to ward the basement to keep Nix in, Nix prayed that the witch was indeed strong enough to contain him. If not…well…he could picture the witch with his throat torn out, body splayed on the stairs leading from the basement. Imagined Babe, pale and dying just as he had been right before Nix had turned him in the first place. Imagined Dick, begging him to stop, begging him to remember who he was, before he drained him, too, and finally satisfied his craving.

Nix shook his head and focused on their frantic activities. _No, better not to think like that. Gene said he can handle it. I have to believe him._

“Alright guys, seriously,” Nix said, “you should go.”

Babe frowned, casting pleading eyes at Gene, who shook his head in the negative. The kid huffed, rolling his eyes, and clapped Nix on the shoulder. “It sucks,” Babe promised. “But not forever. Just remember that, yeah?”

Nix swallowed thickly but flashed the kid as confident a grin as he could muster. “Yeah, uh…thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Babe cast him another worried, but determined look, then went over to have words with his lover before his banishment from the basement.

Dick took his time. He gazed at Nix, assessing, like a hunter would. Head to toes and back again. Maybe he was calculating Nix’s chances, or trying to determine just how much abuse his body could take before it simply quit on him. Then, finally, reluctantly, Dick unfolded his arms from where they’d been crossed tensely and wandered over to hold Nix. His eyes had taken on a sharper, defiant, determined look now. “You’re going to make it through this, Nix.” He stated, like it was a fact that neither God nor nature was willing to contradict. “Promise me.”

“Yeah,” Nix laughed, though his throat felt too tight. “Yeah, of course I will.”

“Promise me. I want to hear you say it.”

Nix swallowed. His tongue felt thick, heavy. “I promise.”

Dick nodded sharply. “Good.” His hands tightened on Nix’s hips then began to run soothingly up and down his sides. “I’ll be here, the whole time. I promise. I’ll be here and I won’t let anything happen to you. Do you hear me?”

“I hear you. But Dick, you’ve got to promise me that you’ll be careful. I mean it. I might not be…myself. I saw what the blood did to the kid. I’m much older and stronger than he was. I won’t risk you. Understand? If Gene tells you to stay away, you have to promise me you’ll listen to him.”

Dick’s mouth pursed up, stubborn, but he nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

“Good.” Nix cast a look at Gene, where the witch was watching but pretending not to. “Let’s get this show on the road, then.” And God, he was terrified. His heart had begun to pound in his chest and his hands were jittery. He’d never been more thankful that Dick wasn’t the one with super hearing. 

“Yeah,” Dick said, leaning in to brush his lips sweetly against Nix’s. Nix’s eyes fluttered shut and he allowed himself to feel this: warmth, love, trust, safety. He inhaled Dick’s scent, let it wrap around him, fill him, calm him. He lost himself in the sensations for a moment, thankful that a guy like Dick somehow managed to love him. When Dick finally pulled away, Nix felt bereft but managed to pin a smile to his lips as Dick said “I’ll see you on the other side, Nix.” And then he turned and marched resolutely out of the basement before either of them could do something stupid.

A heartbeat. Two.

Alone now, except for Gene, Nix turned to the witch and hoped that the man couldn’t see how terrified and desperate he really felt. He knew it was a wasted hope, though, from the way that Gene was staring back at him with excruciating understanding. “You ready?” Gene asked.

Nix nodded, because his throat was too tight now to say anything. He stood, rigid, in the center of the room as the witch sliced into his finger and began painting the corners of the room in his own blood, chanting as he did so.

Nix couldn’t hear it, not a single word. His ears were full of his own heartbeat, his nose and throat full of the scent of Gene’s rich, powerful, delicious-smelling blood. Nix forced himself to breath through it, to take it in without reacting. He closed his eyes and focused: sunshine, Dick, real food. All he had to do was be strong, just for a little bit longer. Just be strong. He could do that. Dick believed he could. Babe did too. And Gene must’ve, since he was in here with Nix. 

Some time later, Nix opened his eyes and allowed his shoulders to relax when he found Gene standing on the other side of the open basement doorway, hands in his pockets. “Ward’s up.” Gene said. “Give it a try.”

Nix walked the full perimeter of the room and he could _feel_ the spell woven around him, holding him, keeping him. It was stronger than any material in the world, he thought. When he reached the doorway, he hauled back and punched the air as hard as he could. His fist recoiled back, jarred, and Gene continued to stare at him, unflinching. _Guy’s terrifying,_ Nix thought as he pulled back and rubbed his fist. “Works.” He assured.

“Good.” Gene nodded. “I’ll stay here for a while. Make sure nothing goes wrong.”

“Yeah,” Nix said, and his heart was hammering, his fingers were tingling, and he could’ve sworn he felt sweat beading at his hairline. “No time like the present, right?” He pulled the vial of blood from his pocket and held it up, staring at it again. It was the beginning and the end. It was hope and travesty. It was everything, really. Nix quirked a sardonic smile and said “Bottoms up,” before he popped the stopper out, tipped it back, and drank it down.


	3. 3

_Hunger._ It rose up in him, wild, savage, demanding. He wanted more and he wanted it now. _Bliss_ followed shortly after and he felt high, drunk, completely outside of himself for a moment. The two sensations warred inside of him and he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to laugh or scream. His tongue flicked out and lapped at the coating of blood inside the rim of the vial. He felt his eyes grow darker, felt the pupils go wide. The blood settled inside him, powerful, perfect, and the predator that Nix kept locked inside of himself purred itself awake.

He tossed the vial aside and fixed his eyes on the witch on the other side of the door and he knew there was a ward, knew it was strong, but felt a coil of certainty in his gut that it wasn’t enough, that he could get through it and he could have what he wanted. 

He wanted more.

He took a step toward Gene, eyes glazed with desire, hungry as a newborn, intent on _feeding._

It happened faster than he could comprehend. One moment, he was focused on his prey, the next moment he was on his hands and knees, bent over, gasping. He couldn’t get any air. “Fuck,” he gasped, collapsing onto his side. He clutched at his belly while invisible knives tore through him, cutting, tangling his insides. The blood turned to fire in his veins and his jaw locked down tight on the scream that clawed at his throat. 

His heart thundered, too fast, too hard, in his chest, and he knew what was coming, knew what this meant. _I’m fucking dying,_ Nix thought, as the corners of his vision began to black out, _again._

* * *

All the hair stood up on the back of his neck as he watched the vampire’s eyes change to black. Nix licked his lips, eyes fixed on Gene and Gene knew what a small animal felt like right now—instincts going haywire, simultaneously demanding that he _RUN RUN RUN_ but also telling him to stay perfectly still. 

Nix rolled his shoulders back, smirked dangerously, and took a single, smooth, terrifying step forward before he jerked to a stop, hands clutching his belly, before he dropped. Gene watched the vampire cough and gasp, fingers scratching at the cement of the basement floor, tearing chunks out before he collapsed onto his side. Gene’s pulse leapt at the sight, so much worse than what Edward had first endured. “Shit,” Gene murmured, taking a shaking step closer to the door. Nix heaved a final wheezing gasp, hand clutching at his chest, and then he went limp, arm falling to the floor with a smack. “Fuck,” Gene swore, striding through the open doorway to kneel next to the vampire. He cast a quick prayer to God before he bent close, listening for breath. He searched for a pulse. There wasn’t one. 

“Heart’s stopped,” Gene hissed, disbelieving, before he flipped Nix onto his back and immediately began chest compressions. With each press of his hands, he prayed, begging God to help him revive the vampire’s undead heart. “Come on, Nix,” Gene hissed, pressing more frantically, “you’ve finally got somethin’ to live for, you sonofabitch.” 

He tipped Nix’s head back and breathed air into his lungs, mindful of the fangs and pretending like he couldn’t taste his own bitter-tinged blood on the vampire’s lips. “Come on!” Gene pressed harder and Nix’s body jerked with the effort, pale, lifeless. “Not now!” He kept the rhythm and began to pray harder, using the healing spells that his grandmother had taught him, channeling all of the power that he could feel flow through his own body. 

For the rest of his life, Gene would remember the day that God decided a monster like Nix was worth saving, because one moment the vampire lay, lifeless and limp before him, and the next Gene felt his fingertips tingle, felt the warmth pour from him into Nix, and then the vampire’s undead heart began to beat again. Gene sat back on his heels, hands falling to his sides as Nix rolled over weakly, retching and sucking in breaths. 

Gene knew that it was dangerous again, that Nix was conscious once more and that he’d be hungering for blood again—Gene’s blood. He waited for a moment, though, until Nix had heaved himself up to a sitting position. He did it for the vampire, who he knew was trying to be a better man, and for Dick, because not long ago, the hunter had crouched over Gene in a bar and tried to do the same for him. “You good?” Gene asked, voice tense but trying to remain calm.

Nix heaved a ragged breath again and then murmured, “I feel like I’m dying.”

Gene nodded. “In a way, you probably are.” He shrugged. “Or comin’ back to life, which, in your case…is a bit of a journey.”

“Yeah.” Nix raised his head to look at Gene and his gaze fixed on Gene’s mouth. His eyes darkened and Gene felt the hair raise on the back of his neck once more. Nix swallowed thickly and raised a finger to his own lip, saying “You’ve, uh…got a little….”

Gene hurriedly wiped the back of his hand across his mouth and sure enough, just the blush of a bloodstain—his own. He gulped but remained calm, moving slowly as he stood. Nix remained seated but watched him closely, eyes trained on him. He backed away, step by cautious step, until he felt the ward buzz over his skin as he moved back through the doorway. Only after he had, did Nix stand, wobbly, and drag himself over to the couch so he could sit wearily. The vampire gazed at him across the distance, obviously still hungry, obviously still affected, and said “Thanks. For uh….” He waved toward the floor where’d he’d lain dying. “Yeah. Thanks.”

Gene nodded. “Don’t mention it.” He ran a trembling hand through his hair and said “You should rest now. It’ll be easier that way. I’ll be back in a bit.” Then he turned and forced himself to take slow, steady breaths and walk calmly up the stairs to the house.


	4. 4

Babe leaned against the kitchen counter and watched as Dick paced a line back and forth across the room, arms folded, tense, across his chest. Babe understood. He really did. Nix wasn’t the only one putting himself in danger, here. Babe’s own heart fluttered nervously in his chest at the thought of Gene, down below with the vampire. He knew that Nix didn’t mean him any harm, and he knew the older vampire definitely had more control over himself than Babe had had, but he could still remember how good Gene’s blood had smelled and tasted. How much he’d wanted him. 

But he couldn’t let himself dwell on those thoughts. Nix was strong, powerful. But he was a good guy, when it came down to it. In the time that Babe had been at Nix’s house, he’d learned a lot about the vampire who had saved his life, and about the man he might have a chance to be. And as much as he worried about Gene, Babe knew that if anyone could handle a crazed vampire, it was Gene. Gene was strong and brave. Smart and compassionate. And powerful. So incredibly powerful. Gene had fought witches and destroyed demons and turned Babe back into a man. He could do this. He _would_ do this. So.

“He’s gonna get through this,” Babe said, and Dick flicked a distracted glance in his direction but didn’t stop pacing. “Nix is strong. He can do it.”

“Yeah,” Dick muttered, but he didn’t stop. Babe rolled his eyes and pushed off of the counter. He took a few quick strides forward until, when Dick turned, he found Babe blocking his path. Dick huffed. “What are you doing?”

Now it was Babe’s turn to fold his arms. He stared Dick down with as much authority as he could muster, which honestly was a feat in the face of the other man. “Look…gettin’ yourself all worked up won’t help anything. You need to relax. Go for a walk or somethin’.”

Dick growled. “I _can’t_ relax. What if—what if something goes wrong? What if he needs me?”

“Okay, as the only former vampire ever to have gone through this, I think I’ve got some experience to speak from here, alright?” Dick pursed his lips like he wanted to protest, but seemed willing to listen for the moment. “Listen to me for a sec, okay? It sucked, alright? When I went through it, it sucked. But I came out the other side. I fought through it and I’m here now, human.”

“But Nix….” And now Babe could hear the waver in Dick’s voice, could see the slight wobble of his chin. Dick swallowed thickly then cleared his throat, battling the worry back. “He’s so much older. It’s a risk. We know that. There’s no guarantee…. And I…I….”

“I get it.” Babe said. And he did, because Gene was down there, too. “But you know what? He’s got Gene on his side. That’s better than any guarantee. You and I’ve both seen what he can do. He’ll drag Nix’s ass through this if he has to. You know it.”

Dick gave a teary huff then ran a hand over his eyes and turned away. “You’re right.” He took a couple deep, steadying breaths and Babe laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “He’ll get through it.”

“Yeah,” Babe said, squeezing Dick’s shoulder gently and hoping to God that it was true.

* * *

Gene paused at the top of the stairs and took a deep, steadying breath. He willed his hands to stop trembling. He rolled his shoulders back and pasted a calm look on his face before he ascended the final step and made his way toward the kitchen. He could hear Dick and Edward murmuring to each other but the voices stopped as soon as he made his appearance. 

“Gene!” Edward gasped, rushing to him, hands fluttering over him to catalog and search for injuries.

“’M fine, Edward,” Gene promised. When Edward wrapped his arms tightly around Gene, he allowed himself to heave a deep sigh and relax.

“How’d it go?” Dick asked from over Edward’s shoulder. “Is he…?”

“Sleepin’ at the moment.” Gene assured. “Came to fetch some blood. He’ll need it when he wakes up.”

“Was it…was it like Babe?”

“No.” Gene shook his head. “He had a rough time of it, but like I said, he’s okay now. But I wanna head back down soon as I can. Shouldn’t leave ‘im alone for too long.”

Dick frowned at him. “Rough time like how?”

Gene shook his head once more and Edward finally pulled away, brows drawn tight in concern. “You’re shakin’, Gene.” He murmured, and damn, but he was right. Despite his best efforts, his body was betrayin’ his exhaustion, like usual.

“Told ya. ‘M fine.”

“What happened?” Dick demanded.

“It won’t help anything,” Gene insisted. “Like I said, he’s okay now.”

“Yeah, but you’re shaking. I can see it too. What happened?”

Gene frowned, stubborn. He’d have to sleep soon. He could feel the exhaustion clawing at the edges of his consciousness, could feel the weight in his muscles, dragging him down. “Had to do a healin’.”

“How bad?” And Gene knew how stubborn Dick could be, had witnessed it as his own bedside more than once. As much as he didn’t relish worrying the man, he knew that it was best to be honest. Just in case. Dick deserved that, at least.

“His heart stopped. Had to resuscitate ‘im.”

“Nix!” Dick gasped, at the same time as Edward murmured “Oh my God.” Dick made to dash by him, but Gene reached out a hand and grasped him, firmly.

“Don’t.” He warned. “He ain’t himself right now. He needs sleep and he needs blood. He’s weak at the moment, but still dangerous.” He met Dick’s eyes determinedly. “I promised I’d take care of ‘im and I will.”

Dick stared back at him for a moment, silent and defiant, before he eventually deflated and Gene felt like it was okay to release him again. “What can I do?” Dick asked.

“Like I said, he’ll need blood.” Gene eyed him for a moment, unsure, before he finally caved. “You can help me bring it down. Then you can see with ya own eyes that he’s alright. Okay?”

“Yeah.” Dick’s lips quirked up into the tiniest smile. “Okay.”

* * *

When Nix finally came to, he felt like his head was splitting open. The headache was so bad he couldn’t see straight. He felt like someone had taken a crowbar to his bones and he had cotton-mouth from hell. The world spun around him as he heaved himself into a sitting position on the couch. He was alone. At least…he thought he was. As he squinted toward the basement door, he caught sight of a shadowy figure sitting on the floor, braced against the wall, head bowed forward in exhaustion. Nix forced himself to his feet, unsteady, and moved toward the bottles of blood that sat, waiting, just inside the doorway. As he approached, he recognized the shadow as Gene. Nix grabbed a bottle of the blood and tore the lid off, gulping it down as fast as he could. It was still cold, thick, disgusting, but now it was like Heaven in his mouth. So good. He snatched another up and drained that, too. Then a third.

By the time it was done, his head had stopped pounding and only a slight weakness remained in his body. He felt clear-headed enough to remember what’d happened before he’d passed out. He remembered the burning in his belly and then the squeezing pain in his chest. _My heart stopped,_ he thought. Then, _son of a bitch._

He gazed down at Gene who slept deeply just outside of the ward. _No wonder the poor guy’s exhausted,_ Nix thought, _he had to drag my ass back from the deep end already._ He crouched down across from the witch and simply observed him for a moment. He looked younger in sleep, vulnerable, and suddenly Nix was uncomfortable with how close to the ward he was. Nix remembered how he’d gotten before, remembered that he’d been ready to try to tear Gene’s throat out before his heart had quit on him. Nix felt more in control now, but he knew it was only a matter of time. This treatment wasn’t a one-time deal. He knew he’d have to have more of Gene’s blood, and he knew he’d probably react the same this time, too. 

“It’s too dangerous,” he muttered to himself. Tearing his eyes away from Gene, he dragged himself back to his couch to wait for the witch to wake up. He didn’t know how much time had passed or when he was due his next dose, but he didn’t want to disturb the guy in the meantime. He wasn’t always sure how he felt about Gene and didn’t always trust how he felt around him, either, but he knew that he didn’t want to hurt him. Not really. Those were passing desires, passing cravings. He wanted the power that Gene had. He wanted his blood. But he didn’t want _him._ And he’d never forgive himself if he hurt him. Better to wait here quietly and hope that things were going smoother upstairs.

He thought about Babe, telling Nix that this was going to suck. “Well, he was right.” He muttered to himself. It did, indeed, suck. But the kid had come through it, and he believed that Nix would too. And he wanted Babe to be right.

Nix lay back on the couch and closed his eyes once more, content to dream of Dick until Gene woke up. Nix felt a spasm of pain go through him as his muscles relaxed and he knew that it’d get much worse before it got better, but in the meantime….

He remembered the first time that he’d met Dick. He remembered the weight of the hunter as he straddled Nix on that mattress in a shithole so far from home. He remembered taunting Dick, teasing him, flirting with him, and not really caring whether he lived or died. It was all the same to him then. Just another moment in the worthless, wasted life of one Lewis Nixon. Now, though…. Now Nix wanted to live. He wanted to live very badly.

And so he would.


	5. 5

His breath hitched, his throat closing up. He didn’t want it. _He wanted it with all his heart._ Gene stood on the other side of the doorway, arms crossed, dark eyes understanding as Nix’s fingers trembled around the refilled vial. “I…I don’t want it.” Nix gulped, his mouth watering (from hunger or nausea, he wasn’t sure.) 

Gene’s expression didn’t change. The witch had dark smudges under his eyes—the result of sleeping slumped at the foot of the stairs after a healing, and Nix felt a brief twinge of conscience because he knew it was his fault. “You sure?” Gene asked, voice deep and soothing, and Nix didn’t know whether he wanted to hug him or kill him in that moment. _Damn him._

“I’m afraid.” Nix whispered, but the other man still heard him.

“That ain’t the same as not wantin’ it.”

Nix stared at him, his eyes pleading, but for what he didn’t know. For safety? Comfort? An end to the pain? A promise everything would be alright? Gene couldn’t give him any of those things. Nix’s whole body trembled as he raised the blood to his lips and drank it down before he could stop himself.

The silence stretched between them, heavy, full.

Then Gene’s body tensed in the same moment as Nix’s, an ironic mirroring of pose. 

Nix’s heart jumped in his chest, a rabbit frantic to get out of its cage. _Not again. Not again. Oh, fuck, I’m slipping. I’m slipping! I’m…!_ His eyes narrowed, focused on the rich, tempting life on the other side of the ward. 

It happened faster this time, the pain, tearing through him and threatening to bring him to his knees. His mind, a screaming mess, went blank except for the sharp, painful twist of bloodlust and dying. “You!” Nix hissed, stumbling toward the doorway. “You did this to me!” Nix screamed, as his blood began to boil and his heart rate rocketed. “YOU DID THIS!” He snarled and hauled himself to his feet, his fingers grasping at the wall. He felt the tingle of the ward on his skin, but it was nothing to the fire burning through him, nothing compared to the pain spiking through his brain and his heart and his belly. He screamed again and launched himself at the witch who stumbled and took a step back. Nix snapped his teeth at the air like a rabid dog, itching for blood, aching for violence. The pain was consuming him. It was all he could feel now.

“Nix!” Gene shouted. “Back away!”

“I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!” Nix roared, slamming into the ward again. “I’m gonna tear your throat out and drain you fucking dry!” _SLAM!_ He shoulder shuddered, his hands tingled. The witch’s face had gone paler, and Nix could hear his heart, could smell the blood hot in his veins. He wanted it. And he wanted to repay pain for pain. He’d rip the witch apart just like the witch was doing to him right now. 

“Back. Away.” Gene repeated, hands out in front of him in a show of peace, steadfastness, but Nix wasn’t fooled. He could see the tremor in the witch’s hands, could hear his pulse accelerate. “Nix. I can’t help you when you’re like this.” His deep voice wavered and Nix felt a rush of pure satisfaction.

“You better fucking pray, witch. You better pray hard. You’re gonna _need_ God when I get my hands on you.”

Gene took a step back at the same time Nix heard footsteps dash across the upstairs. A heartbeat later, the door to the basement steps was thrown open and he recognized that heart, that scent too. He’d know it anywhere, even before Dick’s worried voice called “Nix?! Nix?!”

“No, Dick! Stay back!” Gene shouted, and he turned towards the stairs to stop Dick’s approach. 

Nix pressed his whole body against the ward, straining and scratching against it, eager to get to either one of them, eager to bite and eat and swallow. God, he was gonna drown himself in them. 

“Gene, what’s happening?! Nix!” Dick attempted to push past the witch, but Gene grasped at his shoulders and held him back.

“Don’t go down there, Dick. He ain’t himself!”

“Dick!” Nix cried pitifully, “Dick! I need you! I need you! Please!”

“Don’t listen to him!” Gene shouted. “Don’t listen to him, Dick! He’s desperate, he’ll say anything!”

“Dick! Dick, help me! Please!” Dark pleasure curled in with the pain.

“Nix!” Dick shouted. “Let me through, Gene. Damnit, let me through!”

“No!” Gene shoved Dick into the wall just before the hunter reached the ward, and Nix strained toward them, swiping for Dick’s flesh and missing, tearing at the empty air.

“Goddamn you!” He hissed at the witch, “I’m gonna rip your throat out, I promise to God.”

Still braced between Gene and the wall, Dick’s eyes went wide and the blood drained from his face. “Nix?”

Nix’s heart banged in his ears and he felt like he was going to explode. “You….” He gasped, pointing at the witch, suddenly weak. “Did…this….” His legs went out from under him and he dropped to the ground, gripped in vice-like pain. “You….” He snarled up at the startled faces above him one last time before the pain became unbearable and once again, his heart stopped.

* * *

Gene was shaking. Or maybe it was him—Dick couldn’t be sure. But one moment, he’d been fighting the other man to get to Nix and then in the next, the basement was dead silent except for the gasping of their ragged, mingled breath. “Nix!” Dick gasped, pressing against Gene once more, desperate to free himself. “Is he? Is he?!”

Gene struggled with him, desperate to keep him back, but Dick was stronger. “Dick! Stop! I can’t fight you!” Gene snarled.

“Is he dead?!” Dick shouted, and there were more heavy footsteps up above—Babe, coming to help.

“I gotta check on ‘im, but I can’t if you don’t stop!” Gene barked, shoving against Dick one last time before he pushed away and stumbled toward the ward. “Stay where yo’ at!”

Gene vaulted over Nix and then dropped to his knees at the vampire’s side, hands working quickly, efficiently, to check his vitals and then move him onto his back to begin chest compressions. 

Dick’s legs turned to jelly but he stumbled over, through the door, and dropped at Gene’s side, his hands fluttering over Nix. 

“Give me room!” Gene growled, and Dick inched back. He watched, shocked and terrified, as Gene performed CPR for what felt like forever before Nix finally gasped and rolled onto his side, retching. 

“Nix!” Dick gasped, reaching for the vampire, but he froze, suddenly feeling small, as large black eyes, empty of all recognition, raised to meet his. And suddenly Dick realized with a kick of fear that Nix lay between Dick, Gene, and the door.

“Dick.” Gene murmured, slowly putting a hand out. “Back up, slowly.” Dick rose shakily to his feet and Nix’s wide, predator’s eyes followed him. Hand shaking, Dick reached for his pocket where he always kept his silver crucifix. Nix tracked the movement like a big cat waiting to pounce.

“Gene.” He reached his other hand toward the witch, terrified at how close Gene was to Nix. All Nix would have to do was dart his hand out, and he’d have him. 

“Back.” Gene murmured, voice calm though Dick could still see him shaking, and he knew Nix could, too.

Nix’s eyes flickered away from Dick to land on Gene, just for a moment, and he licked his lips before fixing his eyes on his lover once more.

Dick had never been afraid of Nix before this moment, but now he took a shaky step backward, praying that Nix would remember who he was and knowing that he wouldn’t.

In the space of a heartbeat, several things happened at once. Dick blinked, and suddenly Nix was on his feet, in Dick’s space, his hand ghosting over Dick’s neck. A whining surge of electricity shattered the lightbulb overhead in the same instant Gene screamed “No!” and the air between Dick and Nix exploded. The force flung Nix backward against the brick wall and he slumped in shock for a moment. Just a moment. “Run!” Gene ordered, and Dick leapt toward the door, grasping for Gene’s hand as he went. He’d just managed to haul the witch over the ward boundary before Nix slammed into it once more, eyes dark, murderous, and promising.

* * *

They slumped together on the floor for a moment, panting with terror and exertion, as they stared at the ravening vampire through the ward. Nix glared for a long moment before he snarled and pushed himself away to begin pacing back and forth, ranting under his breath. All Gene could do was watch. He was utterly exhausted, his body trembling through the shock of so much energy being pulled from him at once. He was going to pass out soon, whether he wanted to or not. Above them, the door slammed open and Edward’s voice shouted “Gene! Gene! You alright?”

Dick, who lay half-tangled with Gene, also still in shock, muttered “Was it…was it like this before?”

“No,” Gene croaked, “it’s worse.”

Then, suddenly, he was being pulled up from the ground and cradled against Edward’s chest, the man’s strong arms holding him tight. “Gene, you alright? God, what happened?” Edward stared at the vampire over Gene’s head and _growled._

“Babe,” Gene murmured, “I’m gonna…. Gonna….” 

* * *

He woke up sometime later on the couch in the formal living room with blankets tucked all around him. Dick sat slumped in a chair next to him, his eyes troubled, mouth pulled down into a dissatisfied frown. “Dick,” Gene croaked, “water.”

Dick retrieved a bottle of water from the coffee table, twisted it open, and pressed it into Gene’s hands before he took a step back. He watched as Gene gulped thirstily. When he’d drained half the bottle, Gene passed it back and then asked “Babe?”

“Watching Nix,” Dick murmured, voice solemn, quiet. Gene frowned up at him and Dick sighed. “After we carried you up here, Babe decided it was best that I take a break.” That only made Gene frown harder. Yeah, he couldn’t imagine _that_ conversation. Dick shifted uneasily on his feet. “Are you alright?”

Gene nodded and groaned as he pushed himself up. “How long’s it been?”

“About six hours.” Dick glanced toward the basement stairs, then back at Gene before he sat in the arm chair once more. He twisted his hands together in his lap. “It’s my fault,” he said, nodding toward Gene. “I panicked. I didn’t listen.”

Gene didn’t argue, because it was true. Dick had nearly gotten them both killed. It was stupid and reckless and…Gene couldn’t blame him. If their situations were reversed, Gene was sure he would’ve done the same thing. After all, hadn’t he already done his fair share of stupid and reckless for Edward? Instead of pointing out what Dick already knew and obviously felt terrible about, Gene just sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Told you he ain’t himself right now.”

Dick shook his head, his eyes haunted. “This didn’t happen with Babe.”

“No.” Gene agreed. 

“Is it…is something wrong?” Dick asked.

Gene shrugged. “I don’t know. Edward’s the only example we have and Nix is a lot older than him.”

Dick heaved a breath. “It’s just…I can’t….” He raised his eyes to Gene’s, and he could see the fear and desperation in their depths. Gene understood what that felt like, and he never would have wished it on his friend.

“I understand,” Gene said, rolling his shoulders to loosen them. He cracked his aching neck and fixed Dick in his heavy stare. “But the only way out of this is through, Dick. And we’ll see him through.”

Dick stared at him for a moment, trapped between hope and fear. Then he swallowed thickly, gave a curt nod, and agreed “We’ll see him through.”


	6. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the tags and the archive warnings. By this point, you're all probably used to a bit of darkness in my stories, but this one is a different kind of dark. Nix crosses a line. Be warned.

“I feel like someone cracked my head open,” Nix groaned as he rolled over onto his belly and stared at the door. Babe stood on the other side of the ward, arms crossed over his chest, mouth set in a grimace. Suddenly, Nix felt a spike of fear jolt through his heart. He levered himself to his feet and stumbled toward the door. “Oh God,” he muttered, “what’d I do?”

“They’re okay.” Babe replied stiffly.

Nix shook his head, a whine tearing up his throat. “ _What’d I do?!”_

Babe shook his head sharply. “You weren’t yourself.”

“Babe,” Nix pleaded, hands pressed flat to the ward, his stomach churning, heart thumping wildly. “Please. Please tell me.” 

Babe frowned. “They’re upstairs recovering, Nix. They’ll be okay.”

“Oh, God.” Nix whined again, his fingers curling against the air, desperate for answers, desperate to go to Dick. “What’d I do?” He bowed his head against the ward. “ _Please._ ”

Babe swallowed thickly. “You tried to kill ‘em, Nix. You threatened….” Babe’s jaw snapped shut again and Nix could hear his teeth grind together. 

“No,” Nix protested, the denial choking him. He squeezed his eyes shut. “No….” He sobbed. “Dick,” he gasped, voice wet. “Dick, I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” His knees buckled and he collapsed against the ward, his fingers clinging, desperate for release, for redemption. “I’m so sorry, so sorry.” He shook his head, but he couldn’t shake the images that now bombarded him. Dick’s blue eyes, wide with fear, frozen as Nix reached for his throat. Teeth gnashing, eyes intent on Gene. Murder in his heart. 

Tears traced wet, gleaming tracks down his face as he lay crumpled on the floor, sobbing. “I’m sorry.”

* * *

He must have lain there for hours but eventually the door at the top of the stairs opened and Nix listened to Gene’s footsteps descend. The witch’s balance was off—his stride was usually light, graceful, but his feet scuffed now, exhausted, and fell unevenly, forced through a feeling of trepidation. Nix continued to stare at the gray cement of the floor and the wet puddle under his cheek. 

“Brought you food, Nix.” Gene said, deep voice weary, hesitant.

Part of Nix wished he could remember what he’d said and done before, but the other part of him was grateful that he couldn’t. “Not hungry,” he mumbled.

“You need ta eat,” Gene protested. “Gotta keep yo’ strength up.”

Nix barked a broken, sardonic laugh. “The better to kill you with?”

The air was thick, silent, and Nix prayed that the witch would leave him, would go right back up into the house and stay there. He hoped he’d drag Babe back up with him, too. Nix didn’t like the kid seeing him like this. But alas, Nix rarely got what he wanted. Instead of leaving, Gene crouched in front of him, just on his side of the ward. “Hey now,” he scolded, voice firm but soft. “None of that.”

“Babe told me what I did to you. What I tried….” He shook his head. “Is Dick alright?”

“He’s a bit shaken up, but he’ll be alright.” Gene breathed softly a couple inches away. “You didn’t hurt him, Nix.”

“I tried to.” Nix flicked his gaze up just enough to catch Gene’s lips go flat and pull into a frown.

“You did. But I stopped you, just like I said I would. I made you a promise, didn’t I?”

“I tried to kill you, too!” Nix snarled.

“And I’m still here.” His voice was calm, soothing, more than Nix had any right to. He wanted to curse Gene for trying to make him feel better now, of all times. “Now sit up and eat. We’ve got mo’ work to do.”

Slowly, reluctantly, like a scolded child who, with tears still in their eyes, was eager to be forgiven, Nix reached for the bottles of blood that Gene pushed through the ward. Nix’s hands trembled when he twisted the cap off the bottle and he wasn’t sure if it was an after effect of Gene’s blood or the knowledge of what he’d done. The bottled pig’s blood was cold and thick and it choked him, but he forced himself to swallow, because he knew it was more than he deserved, anyway. 

Nix still couldn’t bring himself to meet the witch’s eyes, but he listened, almost numb, as Gene murmured “Edward…would you bring down a couple more?”

He could practically _feel_ Babe’s stern reluctance. “Gene, it’s not….”

Gene sighed wearily. “I’ll be fine, Edward. But he’ll need mo’ blood.”

Nix peeked up at them enough to see Babe plant a kiss on top of Gene’s head and caress the witch’s shoulder before he murmured “Alright,” and retreated up the stairs.

“Shouldn’t be alone with me.” Nix mumbled, setting aside the empty bottle. He raised his eyes to Gene’s face, saw the exhaustion and fear and that goddamn _understanding,_ and it was almost too painful to look at.

Gene ran a hand down his face and Nix could hear the witch’s heart, the too-exhausted thump, working harder than it ought to have been. “You can’t reach me here.” Gene murmured and slumped over against the wall. He closed his eyes for a minute, grounding himself, and Nix heard his heart give a little skip.

“You need rest.” Nix said, suddenly very worried about the witch. “You’re not alright.”

“I’ll be fine.” Gene insisted, and now Nix understood why Dick got so frustrated with the witch. He was stubborn, insistent, and seemed to have very little regard for his own well-being when someone else’s had become his focus.

“I can hear your heart, Gene,” Nix snapped, and he finally met the witch’s exhausted, hollow eyes. “You’re not fine.”

Gene’s mouth flattened into a thin line. “I’m healin’ as we speak.” He defended. 

“And if you have to do another healing? Then what?”

Gene practically growled at him. “You let me worry ‘bout that.”

“How many times have you had to revive me, Gene? Huh?” Gene opened his mouth to respond, but Nix didn’t really wanna know. “Too many!” He insisted. “Too damn many, Gene!”

“Then stop dyin’,” the witch growled.

Nix snapped his mouth closed and just looked at Gene for a moment, the fierce set of his brow, stubborn upturn of his chin. Nix snorted, half-hearted, at the ridiculousness of their situation. “I’ll do my best.” He muttered, the humor draining from his voice.

“It’s almost time for your next dose.”

Nix ran a hand down his face and let it fall limply in his lap. “I don’t want you down here this time.”

Gene’s frown pulled deeper. “Well too goddamn bad.”

“I mean it, Gene!” Nix snapped. “Last time….” He swallowed thickly. “I don’t want you down here. Give me the blood and then leave. You guys don’t need to see this.”

“Nix,” Gene huffed, “shut up.” He pointed a finger, stern despite the light tremors, in Nix’s face and said “I’m a doctor and I don’t leave my patients when they need me. So get over yo’self.”

* * *

Nix sat, cross-legged on the cement floor, and faced Gene as he brought the vial to his lips. His hands trembled, and the witch’s did too, and Nix felt terrible. Babe stood behind a crouched Gene, his hands resting lightly on Gene’s shoulders, bracing, supportive. In a moment, would Nix try to tear his way through the ward to kill them? 

The blood was poison. It took hold of him, slithering through his veins, and it wrapped around his heart and his soul and his brain, and it broke him down. Down to his basic, animal nature. Down to the monster that he was at his core. And, after laying him bare for everyone to witness the irredeemable travesty that was the vampire Lewis Nixon, it did its best to kill him. Ironic, that the witch’s blood stopped his heart while the witch’s hands restarted it. Nix knew he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve any of it. Not the chance, not the kindness, not the sympathy. 

But the blood wasn’t just a cure anymore, wasn’t a wish. It was a punishment, a poison, and after hearing what he’d tried to do to Gene and Dick last time, Nix was going to feed it to himself religiously, because he wanted to kill that monster inside of him, no matter the stakes. He was going to kill it, to keep it from ever trying to hurt Dick again. He was going to kill it, before it could kill again. He was going to kill it, because Nix was tired of being a fucking monster.

Closing his eyes and praying for strength enough to be brave, Nix tipped the vial back and drank the poison down. Like every other time, it shivered through him, powerful and addictive, arcing up inside of him like a wave, and suddenly he felt his senses go into overdrive once more. His eyes snapped open and focused on the witch, within such an easy reach, feeling safe and secure on the other side of the ward. So foolishly trusting in his own magic, but Nix knew he was worn down, weaker than usual. It might not hold.

In one smooth movement, Nix was on his hands and knees, leaning toward the witch, sniffing at him through the ward. He smelled so damn good. Beneath the exhaustion and vulnerability was that fount of endless, intoxicating strength. A mouthful was enough to knock him on his ass and stop his heart. Drinking him all down would kill Nix, but it was a death he’d willingly sign up for. “Come here,” he purred, glancing up at the witch from underneath his lashes. He caught Gene’s wide, dark eyes in his gaze. “Come to me.”

Babe’s hands tightened on Gene’s shoulders and held him still. The witch gulped heavily and shook his head. Nix watched his pulse jump in his neck and he moaned, devastated by hunger and longing. Nix pressed his hands to the ward, open, begging. “You’re so close, so close. Just a little bit farther,” he crooned. The witch’s dark eyes widened further, snared, and the beast inside Nix howled in satisfaction. “I want you so bad,” Nix murmured softly, “wanna taste you. Drink you right down.”

“Gene,” Babe said, voice tense.

“I know you want it, too,” Nix purred. “Gonna lay you out flat, and hold you down. God, you’d look so pretty with my hand around your throat.”

“Gene.” Babe barked, but the witch wasn’t listening to him anymore. He was mesmerized. 

“Come on, Gene,” the monster inside Nix taunted, “you ever wanted a taste of real strength? Me and you. It’ll be fantastic. So good.”

“Goddamnit, Gene,” Babe growled, grabbing Gene under the arms and hauling him away from the ward.

“No!” Nix barked, leaping smoothly to his feet. “Leave him!”

“Get fucked, Nix.” Babe swore. 

“God damnit, leave him!” Nix roared, slamming his hands against the ward. “Gene, come to me.” Nix coaxed. “You’re so close. Just reach out. Come on.”

“Shut up!” Babe growled.

“No one will ever be able to give you what I can,” Nix promised, “I’ll be real good to you, promise.”

“I said _shut the fuck up!_ ” Babe roared. Gene began to struggle in his arms, weakly, and now Nix cursed that the witch was so weak—it had made it easy to slip under his defenses, but now he could barely fight against Babe.

“You want someone to take you apart, don’t you? Come to me and I’ll lap you up real slow, have you begging, have you screaming….”

“Mother fucker,” Babe hissed, digging a clear bottle from his pants pocket. Before Nix knew what was happening, holy water splashed across his hands and face and he hissed in pain, shaking his head and withdrawing further back into the basement. 

“Gene!” Babe barked. “Gene! You hear me? Gene?!”

The witch’s voice came muddled, confused. “Edward? What? What happened?”

“Let’s get outta here,” Babe growled. He threw a final look over his shoulder at Nix and ordered “Sit down and shut the fuck up!” Then he hauled the witch up the steps and into the house. The door banged closed behind them and Nix was alone.

The burns on his hands and face were agony. His heart thundered in his ears, half rage, half exhilaration. He’d almost had that witch; he’d been so close! He’d been weak and Nix had slipped right under his defenses. It had been easy to hypnotize him, and though he was angry at Babe for breaking the spell and hauling him away, there would be a next time. And a next. And as long as it took before the witch finally caved and reached over the ward line. 

He paced back and forth, tense, frantic, his body a blur to anyone else if they’d seen him. His heart thumped wildly, his mind whirled, and he was so goddamn hungry, he’d eat anything at this point. He cast his gaze up toward the ceiling and wondered what all the humans were doing up there. He wondered if they’d had to chain the witch up to keep him from slinking back down here. God, Nix hoped so. He chuckled darkly. Now if only he could get Babe or Dick alone, they didn’t have the same defenses, they…. Nix stopped suddenly, the air gusting past him. The breath wheezed out of him and he bent over like someone had punched him. _“Oh, God,”_ he wheezed, crumpling to his hands and knees. “Oh, God. Dick.” He curled his fingers into the cement and tore chunks out of it. “What have I done?!” He sprang to his feet and launched himself at the ward. “Dick! Dick, I’m sorry! I’m so goddamn sorry!” Nix hollered, banging his fists against the air. He felt sick. So sick. Oh, God, he was gonna puke.

Nix turned away from the door just in time and heaved. Hot, rancid blood splashed the floor at his feet. _Oh, God, what had he done? What had he done?!_ His stomach rolled and he vomited again, the sickness squeezing the air and strength right out of him. He felt like he was going to fold in on himself. Dick would never forgive him for this. Never. He’d…he’d….

Nix howled in agony and threw himself at the brick wall. He hauled back and punched it as hard as he could. His fist barely scraped the brick, instead bouncing off the ward that lay just below the surface. “No!” Nix screamed, and he hit it again and again and again. He closed his eyes against the images that assaulted him: _Dick, straddling Nix’s hips in the grass on a Pennsylvania evening, their faces so close. Nix saying “Hypnotism, huh? Never been a fan._ _Never wanted anyone messing with my head, didn’t feel right doing that to anyone else.”_

He slammed his fists into the ward, over and over and over. _“I never want you to think of me and wonder if your actions were your own.”_

“God damnit,” Nix sobbed, pummeling the ward. Blood dripped from his torn knuckles, but it wasn’t enough. He could hear his own words echo in his mind: _“I’m in the habit of wanting, Dick. But I don’t take. Not for a long time.”_

But he’d almost…he’d almost….

The bones in his right hand shattered and he finally pushed himself away from the wall. He stumbled over toward the couch where he collapsed, head in his broken, bloody hands. The tears stung his eyes and the pain and grief ripped up his throat. He sobbed, ashamed and heartbroken over what he’d done, what he’d _tried_ to do.

He’d betrayed their trust. Every single one of them. He’d reached _inside_ Gene, when the witch was already weak from healing Nix repeatedly. He’d alienated Babe and thrown his taunts in the boy’s face. Babe, who Nix cared about, who Nix wanted to protect. Babe, who Nix had given new life to. _He’ll never look at you the same again,_ his mind taunted. _You ruined it. Because you’re a monster. You’re an endless pit of hunger and there’s nothing but blood that can fill you up. No love, no comfort, no family or friends. You don’t know what real love is._ How could he ever look Dick in the eyes again after what he’d said, what he’d done? What he’d wanted to do to Gene? _No, it wasn’t me. IT WASN’T ME!_

_Of course it was. This is what you are. A hollow shell. You just need to be filled. That’s all. That’s all you are._

“No!” Nix growled, clutching painfully at his hair with his broken fingers. “No,” he hiccupped. “That’s not what I want. That’s not who I am! It’s the monster. It’s the goddamn monster!” His voice, agitated, echoed in the basement. “I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU, DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU’RE NEVER GONNA HURT ANYBODY AGAIN! I’M GONNA BURN YOU DOWN FROM THE INSIDE OUT. I’M GONNA STARVE YOU TO DEATH. GET READY TO DRINK YOUR POISON, YOU SON OF A BITCH, BECAUSE YOU CAN’T HAVE THEM! YOU CAN NEVER HAVE THEM!” His voice echoed back at him, ringing and desperate, but full of conviction. Still shaking from the trauma, Nix gazed down at his own bloody hands. “You can’t have them,” he muttered. “Not a single one.” He clenched his hands and the bones ground together painfully. Licking the tears from his lips, he promised “You can’t have me either.”


	7. 7

There was no waking up from this one. There was just the sandy pull of exhausted eyelids in a dark basement lit by fluorescent overhead lights. It was like a hangover from hell. His whole body ached. When he raised his hands, he found them still coated in dried blood, the bones still shifting painfully back into place. His mouth tasted disgusting. He shifted himself on the couch, muscles pulling, bones creaking, and he sure as hell didn’t feel like an immortal creature at the moment. He scrubbed at his eyes and hissed as the motion jostled his sore hands. “Fuck,” he muttered. He blinked wearily and gazed toward the door, reluctant to discover today’s new horror.

Babe stood there with arms crossed like he had the day before. Nix could practically feel the rage, grief, and frustration pouring out of the young man. Babe frowned at him, hard, but even from this distance, Nix spotted the split lip. He uncoiled himself quickly but stopped partway to the door, unsure of himself. “What happened to your lip?” He asked.

Babe shrugged and licked the cut reflexively. “Dick.”

“What?” Nix gaped. “ _Dick_ did that to you?”

Babe shrugged again, muscles tense. “Yeah. We had some words. He didn’t like what I said.” He huffed. “He was sorry about it right after he hit me, though. So it’s whatever. It’ll heal.”

Nix wanted to ask what they’d fought about, but he had a pretty good idea and he wasn’t brave enough to learn the details. Not right now. Not when he still felt incredibly fragile. Not when he didn’t know where he stood with this kid. He cleared his throat and took another cautious step toward Babe. Babe watched him with flat eyes, like he was forcefully keeping his expression neutral. “I didn’t mean what I said.” Nix started, raising his hands in supplication. “I remember what happened, and I didn’t mean it.”

Babe snorted and the sound cut through Nix like a knife.

“I….” Nix closed his eyes and pinched his brow, gathering his thoughts. “The…the animal inside of me…it knew he was weak, and it took advantage of that. It said whatever it thought might make him…might get him….” Nix huffed, frustrated with himself. He squared his shoulders and met Babe’s eyes. “I don’t want him like that. _I_ don’t. When I’m in control of myself, I mean. The rest is just…it’s evil, Babe.” Nix shook his head. “But I wouldn’t do that to you, to either of you, or to Dick. Not if I was in my right mind.”

“He won’t be coming down today. Neither of them will.” Babe said. “And Gene gave me a charm so that mind control bullshit won’t work on me.”

Nix’s throat constricted and he nodded to keep the sob down. He didn’t know what he could say to Babe, what it was even possible to say. So they just stared at each other in the silence for a while, neither of them moving, both barely breathing. Finally, Babe glanced away and said “You need to eat before your next dose.”

Nix nodded obediently and glanced at the floor where the new bottles sat. He went to them and lifted one, opened it, drank it mechanically. He felt hollowed out, the shell of a person. Like everything that made him Nix had been drained away. The only thing left was exhaustion. He didn’t even taste the blood, simply swallowed it down. He tried not to think about what was happening upstairs, tried not to think about what Babe had told Dick about what had happened. It was possible that, even if Nix made it through this and became a human again, he’d lose Dick. That he’d lose every single thread in the new family he’d been building for himself. 

“I want to hate you, you know.” Babe said, voice laced with frustration. “But I can’t. Because I know a little bit about what you’re going through.” He huffed, a pent-up, angry sound. “Hell, I would’ve torn Gene’s throat out myself if you hadn’t held me back and stopped me. I haven’t forgotten that, Nix.” Babe ran a frustrated hand over his face then winced when it caught at his split lip. “I remember what you did for me. Every bit of it. And I know what you did for Gene before that. I _know,_ okay.” He pointed at Nix. “So. I’m mad at you. I’m mad as hell about what you did to Gene. But I don’t hate you. Because I fucking know, alright?” Babe took a tentative step toward the ward. “So I’m here. And I ain’t leavin’.” Babe shivered. “I know what it’s like not to have control over yourself. To watch, powerless, as your body says and does things you’d never do.” And Babe _did_ know. Nix knew this wasn’t just bullshit. The demon that had possessed him had used him to do terrible things, and Babe could remember it all. The two of them really were more alike than Nix was comfortable with. Babe growled, frustrated, and stomped the last two steps up to the ward. “So I’m stayin’. And I’m gonna help the other two drag your ass through this, because you did the same for me before I even knew you.”

Tears welled in the back of Nix’s eyes but he pushed them away with the backs of his sore hands. He nodded jerkily. “Thank you.”

Babe huffed. “I told you it was gonna suck, but I didn’t think it’d be this bad.”

Nix barked a wet laugh. “Yeah,” he sniffled, “me either.”

They were quiet again after that, each of them busy with their own thoughts. Time passed. That was okay. Nix spent it bracing himself for the next fresh wave of hell that’d do its best to drown him. 

Eventually, Babe cleared his throat. “You ready for the next dose?”

Nix nodded stiffly, looking braver than he felt, as he approached the ward. Babe pulled the red vial from his pocket, shaking his head sadly at it, as if he remembered the siren pull and the fear and the pain. He probably did. “Here,” he said, holding it out so that half the vial crossed the ward line. Nix plucked it from Babe’s fingers then took a step back. 

“I’m sorry.” Nix said, raising his eyes to the kid’s. “In advance. For anything I say or do…after.”

Babe gave a short nod and Nix uncorked the bottle before he had a chance to chicken out and drank the blood down.

* * *

It twisted in his gut, microscopic razorblades sawing apart his insides. He crumpled in on himself, the air squeezing painfully from his lungs. He clutched at his belly, fingers digging into his flesh to try to relieve the pain. He couldn’t catch his breath; the agony had locked his lungs down tight and he couldn’t get any air in. The basement swam in front of him and he clenched his eyes shut, to battle back the dizziness and the pain. When he dropped, he couldn’t even try to brace his fall. He landed, heavy, on his side. His shoulder cracked against the cement and he was just lucky it hadn’t been his head. He wanted to scream, wanted to cry, but he couldn’t get anything out. He was dying. Had to be. Nothing else could be this painful.

“Nix!” Babe shouted from the other side of the ward. “Nix! What’s happening?”

Nix couldn’t answer him. Even if he could, he wouldn’t know what to say. _I think I’m being picked apart, piece by piece. My atoms are in revolt. I’m being deconstructed._ All he could do was whimper as his lungs continued to constrict and his head grew heavy. _Can a vampire suffocate to death?_ Just when he thought he’d blessedly lose consciousness, his constricted muscles relaxed for just a moment, just long enough for him to suck in a gasping breath, just long enough for him to try to uncurl. The stabbing resumed immediately and he wheezed.

“Nix! Answer me! What’s goin’ on!”

He tried to wave at the kid, to ease the strain in his voice, but any relief of the pressure on his belly felt like a death sentence. He kept his hands clamped to his abdomen and desperately tried to hold himself together. Every muscle in his body contracted, then, pulled taught like a violin string, and he was almost afraid something was going to snap inside him. He wheezed out another pained breath, but then couldn’t draw another one in again. The pain was driving, endless, hopeless. And then it released, and he sucked in a shuddering breath, rolling onto his belly just in time to keep himself from choking on his own vomit. Hot, rancid blood bubbled out over his lips with a wrenching cough. 

“Fuck!” Babe shouted, “Nix! God damnit, I’m comin’ in there!”

He smacked his hand on the pavement, the only protest he could muster, as he heaved again. The poison wrenched the blood out of him, wringing him dry. “No,” he wheezed, mouth still thick with blood. “No.”

“Nix!” Babe shouted, sounding too close. “Nix, look at me! Look at me or I’m comin’ in there!”

The movement was going to kill him, he knew it. Splayed out on the ground like a marionette with its strings cut, Nix fought against his own straining muscles to turn his head just enough that he could see the kid, white-faced and round-eyed, toes edging on the ward line. “No,” Nix whimpered, just as all the muscles in his body seized again. He clamped his eyes tight and his hands curled into claws. He curled like a ball on the ground, his ragged movements smearing the puddle of blood. 

“Fuck!” Babe swore again. “Nix! Nix, listen to me! Listen, okay. I’m here. I’m here. Just listen to my voice.”

And Nix tried to. He tried to hold onto the sound, tried to hold onto anything that wasn’t the constant, shredding pain. His muscles were being torn apart, he knew it. His stomach was turning inside out. Every single one of his cells was in rebellion. This was worse than anything yet. He was going to die, bloody and sad, on a basement floor, alone except for a panicked young man who couldn’t do anything to help him. 

“You’re gonna get through this, Nix, alright? You hear me? You’re tougher than this. You’re gonna make it. I know it hurts now, but it won’t last. It won’t. You just have to get through it, alright? Okay? Do you hear me? Nix!”

His muscles went limp again and he sucked in a ragged breath. It came out on a sob, wet with a new dribble of blood. His whole face was wet with tears. “Babe,” he whined, stretching out a shaking hand. His muscles and nerves burned. 

“Nix! Nix, can you hear me? I’m here!”

Nix tried to nod but it hurt so much. His head felt twice its size, ready to explode. “Y-yeah,” he gasped. “D-don’t.”

“Fuck, I dunno what to do!” Babe said, voice too high, too fast. _Panic._

“Don’t.” Nix wheezed. He sucked in another breath of air while he could, never so thankful for oxygen. “Don’t.”

The next time, the pain was just as bad, but the tension only lasted a couple minutes. His body went limp and he sucked in air. He tried to shove himself away from the spit-up blood, but he didn’t get far. The wave of pain came again, sucking him back under. The only thing he could do was ride it out.

Again.

And again.

And again.

* * *

Eventually, he did lost consciousness— _thank God_ —but not before he felt strong hands pull his body back from the mess and settle him against something soft.


	8. 8

Dick stared down at his scraped knuckles with a frown and rubbed a thumb pensively over the wound. Babe’s teeth had scraped him when he’d punched the young man in the mouth. Dick deserved it. He felt terrible about hitting Babe now, but at the time, he’d been wound so damn tight, full of anxiety and fear and frustration over feeling useless, helpless. And when Babe had dragged Gene into the room, the redhead cursing and spitting at Nix, threatening…. Well, Dick’s temper had finally snapped and he’d punched before he thought about it. After…. Dick shuddered as he looked down at the prone body lying in the bed. After Babe had pushed Dick away and scathingly told him what Nix had done, what he’d tried to do to Gene…well…Dick felt bad about hitting him now. 

When Gene had finally snapped out of the thrall Nix had put him in, he’d cried. Not loud, messy crying. No. Somehow it was worse than that. Large, round tears, just a few, squeezed out of eyes clenched tight, as Gene held himself, arms wrapped tight around his own body and he gasped out quiet, shuddering sobs. Dick had seen him broken and devastated before, but he hadn’t seen this. And suddenly, all of the fight had gone out of him, and he’d done what he could to help Babe get the other man settled.

After they’d gotten him into a bed and forced some warm tea on him, Gene had calmed enough to claim that he was okay, he’d be fine, but neither Dick or Babe believed him. They knew he said it just to get them to relax and calm down. Even now, Dick knew the witch was trying to take care of everyone else before himself. But he’d been hurt by what happened down there. The thing that convinced Dick of that was when Gene allowed himself to be led into the bed and he didn’t try to fight them to get out of it.

Now he slept. He’d stayed awake long enough to create a charm that would help Babe to resist Nix’s hypnotism and drink a cup of tea, then he’d passed out, utterly drained after days of slowly wearing himself down with maintaining the ward, doing extensive healings, resisting Nix, and insufficient food and sleep. It had been obvious that Babe had wanted to stay at Gene’s bedside and leave Nix to his own devices in the basement, but Gene had been adamant—Nix _could not_ be left alone for long and he didn’t want Dick anywhere near Nix yet. It was too dangerous, he said, and after seeing what Nix had managed to do to the witch, Dick believed him. So it had to be Babe. Dick wondered if the young man was resentful, if he hated that it was Dick who got to care for Gene while he descended to the basement again to care for Dick’s lover, the vampire who had managed to hurt them all over the last few days. 

Dick was shook. He could admit that. He was shook and terrified and angry. But he couldn’t be angry with Nix. He knew that what was happening downstairs were the desperate attempts of a century-old vampire to save himself. He was a deadly predator (something it was easy to forget because he didn’t often flaunt that part of himself) and he was using all his available weapons to defend himself. If Dick had found himself trapped in a basement, undergoing his own excruciating undoing, he’d lash out too. With whatever weapons he had. So he couldn’t be mad at Nix. Nix, _his_ Nix, the man he loved, had willingly submitted himself to this for a chance at being human once more. Dick had to hold onto that. For the both of them.

Two days ago, Babe had convinced him to channel his restless energy into something productive and so they had baked, something that Lip used to do when he was stressed. Dick knew enough about baking not to burn the cookies and breads they produced, but with Babe at his side, they had still managed to spray flour all over Nix’s kitchen and themselves. The redhead had said _“Right now, this is their fight. Ours will come later, alright? But right now, they’re doing what only the two of them can. But they’ll need their strength, right? So let’s make ‘em somethin’ tasty so when they need to renew their strength, we can give it to ‘em, huh? Besides, Nix needs something nice for his first meal as a human, right?”_

It was a good memory, a gem amidst this nightmare, and so Dick held onto it. He’d grab Gene a piece of the zucchini bread they’d made. It was pretty good.

As Dick rose from the bedside, Babe’s voice rose, ghostly, haunting, from the basement. Dick stiffened, ears cocked for the sound again. The young man’s voice rose, higher, panicked, desperate. Dick cast one nervous, apologetic glance at the unconscious witch, before he took off for the basement stairs. _This is a bad idea,_ the little voice in the back of his mind murmured, but Dick ignored it. He knew that already. But something was happening down there, Nix needed him, and Dick was tired of waiting.

As he flung the door open, Babe’s voice swelled, shouting for Nix to _hold on, just hold on,_ and Dick’s mind flashed for a moment back to the barroom floor when he’d tried to hold Gene’s life in. As he dashed down the stairs, he noticed the young man toeing the ward line, but Dick could see beyond him just enough to glimpse Nix seizing violently on the basement floor before he collapsed, still. Dick pushed past Babe, leaping across the ward line and skidding to Nix’s side. Nix was still, pale, with sweat beaded on his face and neck. His mouth and chin were stained brownish red from old blood. He was curled up into himself, like he’d taken the worst beating in the world. A large puddle of dark blood pooled next to Nix’s face. _“Shit,_ ” Dick hissed, “come on Lew, I got you, come on.” He reached for his lover, uncaring of the danger as he slid his hands under his arms and heaved him up. The vampire groaned weakly but otherwise was dead weight. Suddenly, Babe was there, too, lifting Nix’s legs. “Over here,” Dick instructed, leading them toward the couch. As they settled him onto the cushions, Nix whimpered and Dick’s heart squeezed in his chest. “Babe,” he said, without looking up, “I need some blood and a basin. Go.”

Amazingly, Babe only hesitated for a moment before he followed Dick’s orders, dashing back up into the house. He could hear him rummaging around in the kitchen upstairs.

“Nix,” Dick said, kneeling next to the couch and laying a palm against Nix’s face. “Nix, can you hear me? I’m here.” Another soft whimper, and Dick had to grind his teeth together to keep from screaming. He had no idea what had happened to Nix, but Dick knew it would take a power stronger than Gene to pull him away from his lover now. “Lew, listen to me. I’m here and I’m not leaving you. I’m here.” He ran his hand through Nix’s dark, sweaty locks, brushing them away from his forehead. Nix’s plush bottom lip was bitten and still sluggishly bleeding. Dick cursed himself for his absence, though he knew Gene had been right to keep him from the basement. Dick was weak when it came to Nix, and he would’ve walked right over that ward line if Nix had asked him to. He knew it. And then what? Maybe Dick would be dead now, lying on the basement floor with his own throat torn out. Or maybe Nix would reign himself in at the last minute and Dick would be a vampire instead. He knew that either of those scenarios would destroy Nix. And he couldn’t have that. But he also knew that now he was staying. Besides, he thought, Nix didn’t seem to be much of a threat at the moment.

Finally, Babe thundered back into the basement, chest heaving, eyes wide and still panicked. “Here,” he said, setting all of his supplies down on the coffee table next to the couch. “What can I do?”

“Fill the basin with some warm water and grab a washcloth from the bathroom.” Dick directed. As Babe complied, Dick called “And tell me what happened.”

“He just…he started vomiting and curling up because it hurt. He couldn’t breathe, and he kept seizing.” The young man’s voice held a quiver and Dick suddenly forgave him for the things he’d said before. He cared, Dick knew he did, even when he was angry. Babe bustled back to the couch and handed the basin and cloth to Dick. “Here.”

“Thanks,” Dick murmured. He set the basin down and then tenderly began to clean the dried blood from Nix’s face and neck. His clothes were stained with it as well. He’d need to change as soon as he had a bit of his strength back. The blood wiped away easily, but the puncture on Nix’s bottom lip didn’t heal immediately like it should’ve. When he reached Nix’s hands, he frowned hard. They were heavily bruised and the knuckles were still torn. “What happened here?”

Babe shrugged. “Dunno. They were like that when I came down.”

“Damnit Nix,” Dick muttered. He could imagine what the vampire had done to himself when he’d finally come to his senses. Dick was only surprised it hadn’t been worse. He and Nix hadn’t even known each other for a year yet but he’d already gotten a pretty good idea of Nix’s self-destructive behavior. They were going to have to work on that. And anyway, whatever might’ve happened before, Nix didn’t look like a monster now. He looked like a young man who’d been through hell. He looked fragile, bruised and battered. Dick couldn’t promise that the pain was over, but he _could_ promise that he’d stay by Nix’s side. With that thought, Dick made himself comfortable on the floor next to the couch and settled in for a long night.

* * *

Gene awoke alone to a quiet house. His first thoughts were: _I’m dead_ followed closely by _No, the rest of them are._ He could picture it quite clearly: Dick and Babe lying on the cold basement floor, their throats torn out, blood and gore splashed on all the walls, with Nix sitting in the middle of them, blood-drunk and confused, sobbing his heart out.

Gene pushed himself up to sit in the bed and the world swam around him, tilting this way and that from exhaustion. “Babe?” He called. Nothing. “Dick?” Still silent. “Fuck.” Gene groaned. He levered himself shakily from the bed and had to grip tight to the wall so he didn’t fall down. 

He gathered himself with each step, summoning the little energy he had left, so that he could do whatever he had to do with what he found. He was still shaken up—badly so—because Nix had managed to violate Gene’s autonomy in a way that no other being, including a demon, had been able to. It felt like betrayal and it made Gene sick because part of him, a part of him that he hadn’t been able to control, had wanted every filthy thing that Nix had promised him. He’d wanted to cross the ward and let the vampire have his way with him. Still, he shuddered at the remembered pull in the pit of his gut when the vampire had promised to lay him out and take him apart nice and slow. The other part of him had been a trapped, shivering animal, shouting at him to look away, to break the vampire’s gaze. Both of his selves had been helpless in the vampire’s thrall. 

As Gene shakily reached the basement stairs and hauled the door open, silence greeted him still and a new wave of terror washed over him. He clutched to the railing as he descended slowly, needing to look but afraid of doing so. At the bottom of the stairs, he let go and felt himself weave unsteadily as he beheld the sight that met him.

Nix lay sprawled on the couch, still and pale, with Dick at his head, petting his hands slowly through the vampire’s hair. Edward sat on the floor at the foot of the couch, his forehead pressed against Nix’s legs. He seemed to sense Gene, though, because he lifted his head and gazed at him then, his face exhausted and stricken. “Gene,” he breathed, unmoving, “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, but…but it was really bad. So bad. He needed us.”

Dick looked over at him, too, the same words echoing in his eyes, but Gene knew the hunter would never say them. Instead, Dick just turned his eyes back to Nix and murmured “I won’t leave him.”

Gene assessed the scene slowly before his shoulders slumped and he sighed. “Alright.”

It took all the courage he had left to make himself step over the ward line, and only because the people he cared about most where already there. He slowly approached the couch and looked down at the broken vampire who lay there. Edward suddenly stood and wrapped his arm supportively around Gene’s waist. Gene was too tired to feel embarrassed about needing to lean against him. 

Nix was paler than usual. His breaths were shallow. Hands scraped and swollen. Lip bitten and still beading blood sluggishly. He wasn’t healing like a vampire should. Gene carefully approached the head of the couch and leaned over Dick to lay his hand gently against Nix’s brow. Immediately, Gene was almost overwhelmed by the swirl of fear, pain, and helpless that roared inside Nix. He took a step back and let his fingers slide away. “Alright,” he said again, finally turning to the other two—wide, concerned eyes stared back at him—“The two ‘a you should go upstairs and bring down the chaise lounge and a couple chairs. It’ll be easier that way to do what we need ta do.”

Dick was hesitant to go, but after seemingly realizing that he’d be allowed back in, he helped Edward maneuver Gene back to the steps (he wasn’t ready to be alone with the vampire yet) until they came back. 

They made quick work of it, first hauling down the chaise together, and then each returning with a chair and a refreshment. At the bottom of the stairs, Dick crowded close to Gene to look him over and then, with a look of sincere apology, pressed a thick slice of zucchini bread into his hands and said “You should eat.”

As soon as he’d moved away, Edward was there, guiding Gene into one of the chairs and pressing a glass of juice into his free hand. “Drink that and rest up, Gene,” he ordered, with a warm hand against Gene’s cheek. “Dick and I will deal with Nix.”

Unable to do much else anyway, Gene nodded and replenished his body while Dick and Edward both arranged the chaise in the middle of the room then carefully lifted Nix (who groaned weakly) and settled him amid a mound of pillows. After he was situated, Dick glanced back up at Gene and said “What now?”

The words were hard and he knew it wasn’t what Dick wanted to hear when he said “All we can do now is be with him until I get my strength back.” Dick nodded, as if that’s what he’d expected. “But Dick,” Gene said, calling the man’s eyes back, “He’s going to make it through this.”

Dick smiled sadly and ran his fingers through Nix’s dark fringe. “I believe you.”


	9. 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for overly erotic weird blood dub-con.

By the time Gene was strong enough to do anything about it, Nix had started a fever. Dick sat with him, petting his hair and drawing a cold cloth over his skin as the vampire twitched and moaned on the chaise lounge. Gene stood at the foot of the chaise, arms wrapped tightly around himself as he watched the man suffer. “He needs more blood.” 

Dick looked up at Gene, half glare, half plea. “It might make him worse.”

Gene nodded. “Probably. But it’s also the only thing that’ll make him better. I’ll be right back.”

Gene retreated upstairs to prick his finger and collect the blood in a vial for the vampire. It’d be easier to simply press his finger to the vampire’s mouth and drip the blood in, but Gene didn’t trust Nix enough yet, or himself for that matter. There was still too much tension lingering between the two, and he didn’t know how the vampire might react to all that electric power standing within his grasp. After the blood had been gathered in the vial, Gene perfunctorily wrapped a bandaid around the already-healing wound and opened the fridge to gather up a bottle of pig’s blood. After a moment of debate, he grabbed up a bottle of water as well, then made his way back down the stairs. 

Below, he found Dick still sitting loyally at Nix’s side while the vampire tossed and turned and sweated. Edward stood a short distance away, looking fretful and pale. “Here,” Gene said, coming to stand at Dick’s side. “You wanna give it to him, or should I? Gotta make sure he drinks it all.”

Dick pressed his lips together in a tight line, weighing the choice. “You do it,” he decided. Then, an honest whisper “Don’t know if I’ll be able to make him if he cries.”

Gene nodded. “Alright.” He rounded the chaise and pulled up a chair. Nix’s knuckles were still scabbed and crusted with blood, his lip was still torn and bitten. Gene sighed. Leaning forward, he pressed his thumb to the plush but bruised flesh of Nix’s bottom lip and opened his mouth enough to tip the vial of blood in. He closed Nix’s jaw and watched the vampire’s throat work hungrily even as he whined pitifully. His eyelids fluttered and he thrashed as the blood went to work, undoing everything that the vampire was. 

“It’s awful,” Edward said from right behind him. “Is that how I was?”

“For a while.” Gene dared to glance back at him as Edward placed a hand on his shoulder. “But it wasn’t quite this bad.”

A sob ripped out of Nix’s throat then, followed by bloody tears that leaked out of his eyes. “Shit,” Edward yelped, “what the fuck?”

“I got it.” Dick muttered, reaching forward with the wash cloth to mop the bloody tears away. He sounded heartbroken. Gene understood.

* * *

Eventually, the whimpers, sobs, and moans escalated to words. Dick held Nix’s bruised hands in his own while Gene perched at the vampire’s head, hands pressed to his temples, doing what he could to allay the fever and the pain. He couldn’t, however, untangle the vampire from whatever dreamscape he was trapped in.

“Noooo,” Nix whined, head tipping back to expose his long, pale throat. He swallowed convulsively. “No! Blanche!” He gasped. “No!” His voice trailed off to whimpers. 

It was only the beginning of a series of nightmarish episodes.

“Gonna kill you,” Nix growled, his hands twitching in Dick’s. “Luca, son of a bitch.” His body jerked against Dick and Gene’s hands as if he struggled to get up but he was too weak to do it. “Gonna rip your throat out.” Then he gasped and began coughing before he cleared his throat and cackled madly. 

Dick raised his eyes to Gene’s across Nix’s body and shrugged, helpless. “I don’t know,” Dick admitted, the words paining him. There was so much he still didn’t know about Nix. So much they hadn’t gotten to talk about yet.

“He’s had a long life,” Gene muttered soothingly. 

Dick wished it helped.

“Roxy!” He gasped, his eyes fluttering open, but unseeing, as he pulled against their hands. “Gotta! Gotta get to her. Roxy!” He whined again, a high-pitched, agonized sound that trailed off to hurt whimpers. His hands curled in on themselves so tight that Dick thought Nix’s nails would pierce his skin. 

“Down! Everybody down!” Nix bellowed, his whole body shaking, beading with sweat. “Get down! They’re coming over!” He wheezed and flinched, curling his muscles tight as if trying to make himself smaller. “Oh, God!” Nix gasped. “It’s gas! IT’S GAS!”

Babe ran nervous hands through his hair and paced back and forth, eyes fixed on Nix. “What  _ is  _ that?” He demanded, above Nix’s cries and shouts. “What’s going on in his head?”

Pale faced and full of grief for his lover, Dick raised his eyes to Babe. “It’s the Great War.”

“What?” Babe stopped pacing, brows furrowed in confusion.

“World War I,” Dick clarified, staring back down at Nix’s terrified face. “He was a soldier.”

“Shit,” Babe muttered, coming to stand next to Gene. “Guy’s probably got more trauma than the rest of us combined.”

“Yeah,” Dick breathed, heartbroken by the idea, “probably.”

“Dick?” Nix whispered, pressing his forehead into Dick’s arm. “Dick, I’m sorry I couldn’t fix it. It’s broken.”

“Shhh, Nix, it’s okay,” Dick murmured as he pet a hand through Nix’s hair. “Everything’s okay.”

“It’s broken,” Nix whimpered. “The clock won’t work.”

“It’s just a nightmare, Nix,” Dick promised, and hoped he was right. “You’re having a nightmare. But I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Have you seen Roxy?” Nix asked, brows furrowing. “I can’t find her.”

Without knowing who she was, Dick was afraid to answer, afraid that whatever he said would be wrong. So instead, he simply continued to pet Nix’s hair. “You’re okay, Nix. Just rest. Rest. It’ll be time for more medicine soon.”

“‘M sick,” Nix mumbled, nodding. “Can’t control myself.”

“Shhh...you’ll have your medicine soon.” He raised his eyes to Gene over Nix’s body and the other man nodded, his hands falling away from Nix as he rose. Dick imagined he felt the fever spike again, but knew it was ridiculous. Nix would be okay until Gene returned. He had to be.

* * *

Nix spit Gene’s blood out, whimpering as it dribbled over his lips. “Damnit,” Gene hissed as Dick glowered at him and wiped the blood from Nix’s face. “I’ll be back.” He went upstairs to refill the vial again and drink some orange juice while he was at it (he’d felt Babe giving him  _ looks  _ for the last half hour or so.) 

Downstairs, Gene decided to try again. “Hold his mouth open,” he instructed Dick. “He needs to take it.”

Frowning, Dick cooed “Nix, open up, alright? We’ve got your medicine.”

“Medicine?” He whimpered.

“Yeah.”

Nix opened his mouth obediently and Gene tipped the blood in. “Nooooo,” Nix sobbed, spitting it out again. “Don’t want it.”

Dick glanced up at Gene. “Maybe he doesn’t need it anymore?”

“I don’t think that’s it.” Gene frowned. “Think the vampire’s tryin’ to save itself again.” He shivered. “He’s gotta take it.” He met Dick’s eyes. “You got your crucifix?”

“In my pocket, like always. Why?”

“You might need it. Edward,” Gene called over his shoulder. “Come help Dick hold him down.”

“What are you gonna do?” Babe asked, coming up to Nix’s shoulder. 

“What I gotta.” He withdrew a thin blade from his pocket and, removing the bandaid from his finger, he re-slit the wound that was already healing. Below him, Nix’s eyes flicked open, wide and unseeing. “There we go,” Gene murmured, both terrified and satisfied that he’d been right. The vampire was still in there, still aware of the blood. “Nix,” he soothed, “got yo’ medicine, alright. Open up.”

Whimpering, Nix opened his mouth and allowed Gene to drip a drop of blood on his parched tongue. “Nooo,” he whined, at the taste.

“Sorry, but you gotta,” Gene murmured. “Just a bit more. Here.” He pressed his finger to Nix’s lips and the vampire’s tongue flicked out, tentative, to lap at the bead of blood. Gene shuddered and his stomach roiled. “Just like that.” Nix’s shoulders twitched upward but Babe’s hands were tight on them, holding him down. “Just a bit more. Come on.” Nix’s lips closed around the tip of his finger and Gene felt him lick at the cut again. It was disgusting and terrifying and erotic and he wanted to leave this place and never come back. After a few moments, he pulled his hand back and Nix whined, reaching for him. Gene took a step back, his whole body trembling. He raised his eyes to Dick, who was staring at him with a look Gene couldn’t decipher, then to Babe, who looked lost and confused and sort of turned on, as if he could remember what it’d been like to do the same. Gene cleared his throat. “Need some air,” he muttered, “I’ll be back.” He couldn’t get outside and away from the house fast enough. 

Downstairs, Nix began to cry again.


	10. 10

Nix blinked his heavy, dry eyes open and licked curiously at the wetness in his mouth. “What  _ is  _ that?” He muttered, voice like gravel. 

“Water.” Dick murmured, face close.

“Dick,” Nix gasped, suddenly realizing the situation they were in. “You need to leave. Get away from me. I’ll…”

“Shhh,” Dick hushed, petting his hand over Nix’s brow and hair, “it’s fine. You’re not gonna hurt me.”

“I will,” Nix sobbed, nodding. “I will, Dick. I tried...I tried….”

“I know. But it’s okay. You won’t now.”

“Everything hurts.” Nix muttered. He could feel his eyes dragging closed again. He blinked, forcing them open. “Everything hurts so bad.” He licked his lips and caught another drop of water. “Am I dying?”

A deep, soothing, accented voice came from his other side. “Comin’ back to life, we think.”

“Ugh,” Nix groaned, “it’s you.”

Behind him, the witch snorted. “Yep, it’s me.”

Nix’s head pounded and his stomach rolled uneasily. “Think I’m gonna be sick,” he mumbled a moment before he leaned over the side of whatever he was lying on and heaved. A bit of watery red splashed against the cement near Dick’s shoe. Nix groaned and rolled back into his original position, curling tighter into a ball with his arms wrapped around himself. “Sorry,” he muttered weakly. His eyes were too heavy to keep open, then, so he closed them.

* * *

The world was dark and spinning sickeningly and Nix just knew he was gonna heave again, and he could hear some sort of god-awful repetitive sound that just wouldn’t “Stop!” He shouted, heaving himself up. Hands fell away from him as he gulped in a breath and looked around frantically. Dick sat on one side of him while Babe sat on the other. He was soaked in sweat. “What’s happening?” He asked, confused and nauseous. “Where am I?”

Babe frowned, mouth opening, but Dick beat him to the punch. “We’re still in the basement, Nix. You’re...changing.”

“I feel sick.” Nix announced. “And there was this sound that just kept going, over and over again.” He drummed out the beat and Babe sighed next to him, shaking his head. “What?” Nix demanded. “What is it?”

“Nix,” the kid explained tiredly, “that’s your heartbeat. You’re okay.”

“I’m not.” Nix insisted. “I’m not okay. I feel so sick. So weak.”

“I know,” Babe nodded, “I been there, remember? But you gotta trust us, alright? We’re gonna help you through this. You’re almost there.”

Nix shook his head, tears springing to his eyes. “Don’t know if I can,” he gulped. “It hurts so bad. My whole body feels...like it’s on fire. Like it’s being torn apart.”

“It is, sort of,” Babe said, “but it’s also bein’ put back together again. Just hold on for a few more minutes, alright? Gene’ll be back soon.”

“Nooo,” Nix whined.

“He’s helping you, Nix.” Dick soothed. “I know it might not feel like it, but he is.”

Nix shook his head and whimpered again. “I don’t want it.”

“What?”

“The blood. I don’t want it.”

“Nix, you chose it.” Dick murmured. “You did. And you’re strong enough to keep going, I promise.”

“Nooo….” He sobbed, shoulders shaking.

“Hey,” Babe said, “you want it, trust me. Look at me, Nix, I’m right here. If I can get through it, I know you can.”

“It hurts so bad,” Nix cried. “I’m not strong enough.” He shook his head.

“Hey,” Dick said, reaching forward to hold his hand. “Gene will help with the pain, Lew, and he’ll be back in a couple minutes. Listen...you chose this. You wanted to live.  _ Really live.  _ As a man, not a vampire. Tell me why.”

“What?” Nix hiccupped. 

“Tell me about all of the wonderful things you’ll get to have when you’re human.”

“Oh god,” Nix gasped, heaving wetly. Babe shoved a bucket under his mouth quickly but hardly anything came up. His stomach squeezed and his heart thundered. He tipped over sideways towards Dick, his whole body aching. “A dog,” he gasped. “I always wanted one...but my father...didn’t like ‘em. Then after...after, I didn’t trust myself...to keep a living thing.”

“Yeah, Lew, that’s good.” Dick smiled at him, and there were tears in his eyes, too. “You’ll get a dog. What kind?”

His bones were on fire. Everything hurt. “A mutt. I want a...crazy, furry mutt. Gonna...gonna take him everywhere.”

“That sounds real nice, Lew. What else do you get?”

“Ice cream.” Nix mumbled, because he used to like it when he was a boy, had memories of he and his sister, sitting side by side, licking their ice-cream cones. 

“I love ice cream,” Babe chirped. “I bet they invented so much good stuff since you were human, Nix,” Babe added. “Like pop rocks!”

Dick snorted wetly, tears trailing down his cheeks. “Yeah, like pop rocks. Bet you’d like those, Lew. They feel funny on your tongue.”

“Sunshine.” Nix muttered. “The beach.” Another sob tore up from his chest. “Dick, I used to love sailing.”

“We’ll go sailing.” Dick promised. “What else?”

“Kiss you,” Nix whimpered against the pain, “without...without fear.”

“Oh, Lew,” Dick murmured, pulling him to his chest. Dick was soft and warm and Nix collapsed against him. “You’ll have all of those things and more, I promise. Hey, shhh…” He soothed, as Nix began to sob again. “You just have to be brave for a little bit longer, okay? Do what Gene says, alright? He’s curing you, I promise.”

“Okay.” Nix nodded against Dick’s shoulder. “Okay.” He swallowed back another sob. “Can I...can I have more water?”

“‘Course.” Dick lifted the glass to Nix’s tender lips and Nix took a sip, marveling that he even wanted it. He took another, grateful for the cool, wet against his parched throat. When he pulled back, Gene was there: mouth tight, eyes solemn. 

“Again?” Nix asked, voice trembling.

Gene nodded. “But I’ll help you.” He handed the vial to Nix but kept his long, pale fingers wrapped around Nix’s trembling hand. Nix wasn’t sure if he’d be brave enough, but Gene helped him to raise the blood to his lips and tip it in. It was disgusting. It made him want to vomit. Meeting the witch’s eyes and deciding to trust, just a little bit longer, Nix forced himself to swallow it down. “There, now,” Gene soothed. “Almost there.”

* * *

He hurt just a little less when he woke up again, this time to the sound of hushed murmuring. He blinked his eyes open to find a dark head bowed over him, pale fingers clasping Nix’s own while another hand pressed warmly against his forehead. Nix’s French was different from Gene’s, but still, he understood. The man was praying. On his other side, Dick sat slumped in a chair, head tipped forward in exhausted sleep. Nix wanted to reach out to him, but he didn’t feel strong enough to lift his arm. Instead, he squeezed the fingers holding his. The praying stopped as Gene raised his eyes to look at him, face weary. “Hey,” Gene whispered, “how ya feelin’?”

“Weak,” Nix admitted. “But I don’t hurt quite as bad anymore. Thanks.” Gene nodded. “How long has Dick been asleep?”

Gene shrugged. “Not sure. Maybe an hour or so now, I think? He’s been awake for nearly two days.”

“Stubborn.” Nix grunted.

Gene snorted. “Yeah, there’s a lot a’ that goin’ around. Good thing too, most of the time.” He smiled softly. “Hungry? You should try ta eat somethin’.”

“Ugh,” Nix groaned, just thinking about blood. “I don’t want any.”

“Any what?”

“Blood.” Nix muttered. “I don’t want it.”

“What about some soup?”

“Soup?” Nix asked, like the word was foreign to him. He gulped. “You think I’m...I’m ready for that?”

“Only one way to find out. Edward just finished making you some. Want him to go and get it?”

Nix’s throat worked, but he nodded and squeezed Gene’s fingers again. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Alright.” Gene patted his hand then untangled their fingers and laid Nix’s gently on his middle. “Edward,” Gene whispered, reaching back over to the couch and shaking Babe (who’d apparently been sleeping, too.) “Will you fetch Nix some of yo’ soup? He’s hungry.”

“He’s hungry?” Babe asked hopefully, sitting up in Nix’s periphery, hair mussed. “Yeah, of course. I’ll be right back.” Then that gangly, puppy-like kid dashed out of the basement and up the stairs.

“What kind?” Nix asked. His stomach rolled just thinking of food, but maybe that’s because all he tasted was blood.

“Chicken noodle.” Gene smiled tiredly. “He thought it’d make you feel betta.”

Tears welled in Nix’s eyes but he nodded and swallowed his feelings back. He’d cried a lot already. “He’s a good kid.”

Gene smiled tightly. “Yeah. He’s the best.”

Nix swallowed. “Think I’ll actually be able to eat it?”

“Maybe.” Gene shrugged. “You’ve been taking sips of water for a couple days now. Don’t want blood.” Gene folded his hands together in his lap. “That’s how it was for Edward.”

Nix stared at him. “Is this what being human feels like?”

“Dunno. What’s it feel like?”

“Hurts.” Nix said.

Gene smiled sadly. “Sometimes.”


	11. 11

The warm water felt amazing on his skin even though it stung against every cut and scrape that still covered his body. Nix tipped his face up toward the spray and let the water wash over his face. Dick was a warm, solid presence behind him—one of his arms wound around Nix’s middle, holding him upright just in case his legs turned to jelly and dumped him again like they had in the basement. Part of him was embarrassed at needing help to stand and shower, but another part of him was just so grateful that he’d been allowed out of the basement, that he’d been trusted enough to be alone with Dick and finally get clean. They’d done their best to wipe him down while he lay on the chaise, but even their thoughtful ministrations couldn’t cleanse him of the stink of old blood, bile, and a week-long unwashed body. This felt nice. This felt perfect. Like Heaven.

* * *

“ This tastes disgusting,” Nix commented as he pushed the  jello away from him, “but not as disgusting as the blood.” He stared down at the empty vial that sat next to his “food.” He could still taste the tang of it in the back of his throat, coppery and bitter, thick and cool. He was lucky he hadn’t puked it up, but Gene had stood over him, watchful and commanding, and so Nix had sighed heavily and taken it. 

“Your tastebuds are still getting used to this new stuff,” Babe soothed, pushing the  jello back toward Nix. “But you still need to eat.”

“Can’t I have something else?” Nix asked, voice trembling on the edge of a whine.

“Like what?” Babe huffed. 

“I  dunno , like...real food. Something good.”

“Gene says you’re stuck on a liquid diet for at least another day or two. You can have more soup if you want.”

Nix’s lip curled. After the fiasco with the chicken noodle the first time (a mess Nix was still grateful he’d been too weak to clean up), the witch had put him on a liquid only diet which meant “soup” was really “broth,” and it barely tasted better than the jello. “Fine.” Nix conceded. “I’ll take some soup.”

“What kind do you want? Chicken or beef?”

Nix rolled his eyes at Babe. “Surprise me.” His tastebuds were still so out of whack that he couldn’t even tell the difference. 

He’d stopped drinking bottled blood two days ago and was now on a human-approved diet with the exception of his daily dose of Gene’s blood which the witch still insisted on until they could be sure that Nix’s transformation was complete. He still felt exhausted and he slept most of the time, but thankfully Gene had deemed him human enough that he was no longer much of a threat and he’d been allowed out of the basement for good. Nix was grateful for that, at least. He never wanted to go down there again.

“Here we go,” Babe said, sitting a steaming mug in front of Nix. “Lunch is served.” The kid smiled at him encouragingly and Nix couldn’t help an answering quirk of his lips. 

“Thanks.” The broth was too hot to drink at the moment, but Nix wrapped his hands around the mug and just allowed himself to enjoy the heat seeping into his hands. They felt cold all the time now, in a different way than they had before. Before, he’d never minded. Now, he just wanted to get warm. Which was why he was sitting in his kitchen dressed in fuzzy socks, plaid pajama bottoms, and a big, fluffy hoodie. He stared down at his hands for a moment, eyes focused on the scraped knuckles that still hadn’t healed. Those scrapes  were the best proof Nix had that things had seriously changed for him. Before, they would’ve healed in a matter of minutes. Now, he’d had to deal with the pain and discomfort of them for days (though it really felt like an eternity) since he’d punched the walls downstairs. “Are the others still sleeping?” Nix finally asked before he took a sip of the broth. Chicken? No. ..beef ? Fuck it. “What kind is this?” 

Babe snorted but grinned regardless. “That one’s chicken. And yeah, they’re both still  sleepin ’, though I’m sure they’ll be  wakin ’ up soon.”

Everyone’s sleep schedules had been thrown out of whack (if they’d ever had a normal schedule to begin with—something Nix highly doubted) since he’d agreed to undergo this treatment. Nix slept most of the time, but that also meant that he woke at all hours of the day and the others took shifts keeping him company now that they were convinced that he wasn’t strong enough (or had the desire to) try to kill them. Being out of the basement was liberating. Being trusted again (even though Nix knew some of those hurts were still tender) was liberating. But he still had yet to face his greatest challenge: daylight. Between Nix’s sweaty palms and panicked breathing at having watched the sun rise through his kitchen window and the others’ trepidation, they’d decided to put it off for a bit longer, just to be safe. Nothing (not even Gene’s blood) had the power to terrify him like the sun. It was instinct for a vampire, an instinct that Nix had heeded for a century and was unlikely to shrug off in a day or so. Still, he knew it was a challenge that he would have to eventually face. To prove to himself, and to everyone else, that all he’d been through had worked, that he was really, truly, a human again. The idea terrified him. 

* * *

“Hey there,” Dick said, leaning down to press his lips against Nix’s as he wandered into the den after having woken from his nap—he still had a pillow crease on his cheek and Nix had to fight back a grin: it was endearing. 

“Hey,” Nix breathed, enjoying the feel of Dick’s warm lips against his own. It felt different now. Still good, but...different.

“You been up for long?” Dick settled himself onto the sofa next to Nix and draped an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close.

Nix shook his head. “Not long. Took a short nap after lunch. Then I wanted to read.” He lifted the book from his lap. “Takes me longer, now.” He wasn’t sure whether he’d ever get used to losing the lightning-quick vampire reflexes that he’d taken for granted for most of his existence. 

“I bet.” Dick nodded. He looked at Nix seriously, blue eyes worried. “It’s still nice, though, right? Even though it takes longer?”

In the question, Nix knew Dick was asking all sorts of things.  So Nix just smiled and let his shoulders relax. “Yeah, it’s still nice.”

“Good.”

* * *

“How much longer, Gene?” Nix asked, staring balefully at the vial held out toward him in the grip of pale, slender fingers. 

The witch shrugged. “Not too much longer, I imagine. But better to be on the safe side, right?” The question was rhetorical and they both knew it. “We don’t  wanna stop too soon and have you...revert...back to how you were. No backsliding on my watch.”

Nix sighed heavily, bracing himself for the sickening punch the blood always delivered now, and gulped back a retch as he took his medicine. He barely held it down once he’d swallowed it and he couldn’t help the shudder of disgust it pulled out of him. “That’s disgusting.”

Gene smirked. “I’m glad to hear you say that.” Under the easy words, though, Nix could still hear the echo of fragility and when he met the witch’s dark eyes, he didn’t miss how the other man still turned from him quickly, unable or unwilling to hold his gaze. Nix couldn’t blame him and he knew it’d take time and a lot of effort to heal some of the hurts he’d caused during this journey. 

“What are you and Babe  gonna do?” Nix cleared his throat. “After?” He knew the time he had with them was winding down, since  surely they were both eager to get back to their lives. They’d been cooped up for a couple months now and before that, it’d been a whirlwind of angst and heartache and trauma. Nix wondered what in the hell their lives had looked like before this.

“Not sure,” Gene shrugged, suddenly looking unsure of himself, and man, Nix had never realized how much it might bother him for this stubborn, self-assured man to look unsure. “Before... everythin ’,” Gene waved a hand to encompass the general fuckery that had taken place, “Edward and I had talked about  movin ’ in together, about him  comin ’ to stay with me in Louisiana. But that was before. A  lot’s changed since then. I don’t know what he wants anymore.”

“I do.” Nix said, hoping to offer a bit of reassurance to the downtrodden looking witch. “He still wants you. Does the rest of it even matter?”

“I don’t know.”

Nix nodded. “Then ask him. I mean, after everything, Gene, what do you really have to lose?”

Gene snorted, rolling his eyes. But the corner of his lips quirked up and he met Nix’s eyes, just for a moment, as he shook his head and said “I hate it when you’re right.”


	12. 12

Nix tossed and turned, his brow burned and sweat soaked into his hair. “No,” he gasped, fingers clenching in the soft sheets of his own bed. “No. .. _ Blanche _ ,” he sobbed. 

Dick woke at his side, eyes bleary in the gray, pre-dawn light. “Hey,” he said, laying a comforting hand on Nix’s shoulder. “Lew, it’s just a nightmare. Come on.”

Slowly, Nix was drawn out of the dream and he blinked his eyes open to stare at Dick. He gasped in a breath, let it out slowly.

“You alright?”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah. Just... just nightmares. Like you said.”

“You were talking again.”

Nix frowned and sat up, hunching his shoulders so he could wrap his arms around his knees. “What’d I say?”

“ _ Blanche _ . It’s not the first time.” Dick grew quiet, his eyes sad. “Who was she?”

Nix felt unbearable sad, suddenly. He took a deep breath, let it out. “My sister.”

* * *

“ So what’s the verdict, Doc?” Nix asked, hands folded in his lap as he looked up at Gene from his spot on the table. And wasn’t this surreal? He hadn’t had a doctor’s exam since leaving the army. 

“Heart beat’s normal, lungs are working good. Your temperature’s still a bit elevated—not sure why yet. Might be that you’re fightin’ off a mild infection. Or maybe your body is rejectin’ the blood, now. Hard to tell.” He shrugged. They both knew there was only so much Gene could tell him, here—he and Babe were the only two specimens for him to work off of. The rest was simply guess-work. Nix watched as he reached for the pocket flashlight. Nix obediently turned his head so Gene could look in his ears. Then he shined the light into Nix’s eyes and Nix fought not to close them against his sudden blindness. “Eyes are dilatin’ properly. Good. Now open up.” Still blinded, Nix opened his mouth and Gene shined the light in there, too. Suddenly, a thumb was pushing his lip up and Gene was grumbling under his breath to himself.

“What is it?”

“Your fangs,” the Cajun drawled, “you still got ‘em.”

“Does...” Nix cleared his throat. “Does Babe?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Another shrug. “My guess? Just because they’re teeth and they’re a bit more...permanent than the rest. Heart, lungs, blood...they’re all soft, malleable. Teeth and bones? Not so much. It might be nothing.”

“Or it might be something.”

“Maybe,” the witch conceded. “But we won’t know. Edward’s been fine, regardless.”

“And me? What do you think?”

Nix’s eyes had finally cleared enough that he could meet Gene’s dark gaze as the witch stared down at him and pronounced: “I think you’re human.”

* * *

“Oh my God, yes!” Babe screeched from the library where he’d been working. Nix and Dick turned to look at each other across the kitchen table and they both shrugged, equally confused.

“No idea,” Dick muttered, shaking his head. They both kept their gazes fixed on the doorway, however, when they heard some muffled sounds, laughter, and then the door to the library flung open and Babe rushed into the kitchen, tugging a flushed, disheveled Gene behind him.

“We’re getting married!” Babe gushed, voice echoing in the kitchen and Nix wondered if the kid knew he was practically shouting. 

“Hey, congratulations!” Dick said, rising to his feet to shake their hands. “That’s great!”

Babe and Gene were both blushing and in that moment, it was easy to remember that they were both so young, both just getting started in their lives and any tangled feelings Nix had about the witch fell away. “So, you finally decided to talk to him, huh?” He asked, quirking a brow at Gene.

Gene rolled his eyes. “Yeah.”

Nix smirked. “Told  ya .”

“Wait, you knew about this?!” Babe demanded, rounding on Nix.

He shook his head. “Not...as such. Just had a conversation, is all.” He shrugged. “Congratulations, kid. You deserve to be happy.” And when Nix reached to shake Babe’s hand, the kid tugged him into a hug. Nix felt his human heart clench and his whole body grow warm with unexpected pleasure. God, he was  gonna miss this kid when he was gone.

“So, when’s the wedding?” Dick asked, turning to Gene.

The witch shrugged. “We hadn’t gotten to that, yet.” He admitted.

“Doesn’t matter,” Babe declared, crossing the room to snatch Gene’s hand up again. “Because we’re getting married.” They grinned at each other happily and Nix’s heart gave a heavy thump. 

* * *

The bedside clock read 4:32am when Nix pulled himself quietly out of bed; Dick continued to sleep soundly, his hair barely poking above the sheets. Nix smiled at him fondly, softly, before he tugged his jeans and a t-shirt on before padding downstairs. It was still dark out when he pulled on his shoes and wandered out into the front yard. There was a slight chill in the air and he shivered, but he wasn’t sure if it was because of the weather or the tingle of fear that began in his belly and swept outward, up into his heart and through his blood to tingle in his fingers and toes. 

The grass was springy under his feet, the air smelling fresh of leaves and dew. The sky was still dark, but at the edges, just beyond the trees of the yard, a gray-blue haze had appeared. Nix wandered around for a bit, trailing his fingers over the low-hanging branches, swiping the dew from the early flowers, and memorizing their colors. He wondered if he’d ever see them like this again, after...well, after whatever happened today.

Far too quickly, the blue turned to purple, then brightened to pink. Nix’s pulse kicked up, his heart hammering in his chest as orange blossomed, the crown on a golden, glowing yellow. His body began to tremble but he planted his feet firmly, shoved his hands in his pockets and gazed toward the rising sun. 

The light spilled across the sky, washing it in a rainbow of brilliant colors, the likes of which Nix had only barely glimpsed through a window for more than a century. It spread across the yard, dissolving the shadows, swallowing the darkness, and Nix tipped his chin upward so that his face could catch the first warm, golden rays. They painted across his pale skin and his muscles tensed, ready for anything: death, pain, destruction. Ready for anything except: warmth, soft, beautiful light, and relief as it bathed him from head to toe. For a moment, Nix was stunned. And then a sudden, shocked laugh bubbled out of him. He stood there, sun rising slowly over him, and everything was beautiful.

He turned, wide-eyed, back toward the house and found Dick standing in the doorway smiling softly at him. And that was when Nix knew.  _ Everything _ .  _ Everything _ that had led up to this moment: it was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, comments are love and keep me motivated, so please let me know what you thought! Also, feel free to come say hi on tumblr. I'm @realhunterswearplaid.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Come to me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24810925) by [Lysel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lysel/pseuds/Lysel)




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